Johnny Dark-eyes stepped forward at the urging of a variety of ground feeding birds. The petitioners addressed the manner in which the kindly ol’ pensioner scattered bird seed on the concrete pavers. Untold numbers of scratching birds had their toe nails worn to nubbins. Could the Face of Everyman intervene and request that feed be scattered on natural surfaces. “E” recognized the problem and demanded that management at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa lay Astro turf on a number of stones to alleviate this feeding crisis. No one was convinced that astro turf was the best solution. However, . . .