Barney was always the first to spread a conspiracy theory. Today he shared his latest with the Face of Everyman: A black ops unit had changed the feed and seed that the kindly ol’ pensioner was using to entice song birds into camera range. His proof was that the bait now contained tree nuts, peanuts and dried fruit. Surely the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa must have gone to the dark side and had access to unlimited funds. The venerable sage would neither confirm nor deny the truth of the matter.