Wildlife Behavior

Elizabeth wasn’t sure she liked the idea of Rocky watching her bathe.  But she shrugged it off as this was a public area in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  In Wildlife Behavior 101 she had learned to just turn your back.  Hopefully the rodent would return to gorging himself; besides the Face of Everyman was alert for once and watching out for her.

Black Ops

Barney was always the first to spread a conspiracy theory.  Today he shared his latest with the Face of Everyman: black ops unit had changed the feed and seed that the kindly ol’ pensioner was using to entice song birds into camera range.  His proof was that the bait now contained tree nuts, peanuts and dried fruit.  Surely the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa must have gone to the dark side and had access to unlimited funds.  The venerable sage would neither confirm nor deny the truth of the matter.


At first the Face of Everyman thought that Cheeky was sleep walking.  But no, Cheeky was trying to complain about the five Raccoons whose antics had kept him awake half the night.  Normally the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa is a quiet place where a good night’s sleep is almost guaranteed.  But, in truth, the venerable sage had his own cross to bear where it came to that riotous family of Raccoons.

TV Spot

The Avalanche Rescue Team and Ski Patrol of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa asked the Face of Everyman to provide someone to make a short TV spot about Winter safety.  Cheeky volunteered.  But, when the cameras rolled all that Cheeky could say was: “Remember boys and girls, don’t eat yellow snow.”


Cheeky was beside himself.  Because of unseasonably warm temperatures here on the Pacific Flyway all of his carefully cached nuts were sprouting.  He relied on these for food during the long cold dark months of Winter.  After reviewing all options, the Face of Everyman agreed to make room in his pantry and storage locker at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa by shipping more truffles to exporters and corner the highly competitive off season market.


Belasco had read every medical journal in the vast library housed at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa: NEJM, The Lancet, JAMA, to name just a few.  No where did he find studies of Squirrels being allergic to peanuts; yet what could account for his stuffy nose and strange coloring?  The problem seemed beyond the ken of the Face of Everyman, he was flummoxed and speechless.

Laborious Holiday

Sparky had lots to do this Labor Day.  As chairman of holiday events, he offered the venerable sage the position of Grand Marshall.   the Face of Everyman regretted not being able to ride in the parade; he had to meet with some big wigs regarding his use of H-1B Visa employees at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  This would be remembered as a very long holiday.