Miss Manners

the Face of Everyman never quite understood why his particular face was found suitable for picnic lunches.  Most birds at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa were capable of eating seeds and small bugs on the fly.  The larger the bird the more obnoxious the behavior.  Or it seemed.  The venerable sage abhorred folks who ate with their mouths open.  He would share this feeling in his letter to Miss Manners.

Soak Before Cracking

Erstwhile longed to be back in the circus.  Foraging for food was often laborious even at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  The meats of the sunflower seed seemed a poor reward for soaking before cracking. Back in the circus he had been painted up as a Mynah bird and mimicked peoples speech and was rewarded with treats plus three squares a day.  the Face of Everyman offered Erstwhile a contract but couldn’t meet the generous benefits that the circus provided.

The Visitor

Clan Leader of Crow Local #313 paid a courtesy call on the Face of Everyman.  He suggested that Everyman provide better food to those clan members who nested in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa and surrounding area.  Before leaving, Clan Leader reiterated that this was but a suggestion not muscle.

Ever Watchful

Melissa was as quiet as she could be.  She left her nest in the vast forest of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa and sought a quick drink and a vegan wrap.  Before departing her eyes searched the perimeter area for the evil Brown-headed Cowbird.  A wink from the Face of Everyman indicated it was “All clear” never the less she flew home by a circuitous route.

Hungry Crows

That nice couple, Posie and Milo, who booked in to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa last week started to show their true colors.  They morphed into Bonnie and Clyde; one of them accused the Face of Everyman of being in cahoots with the kindly ol’ pensioner and not putting out enough seed and grain.  The venerable sage took the harangue in stride and suggested that they look for orts in the neighborhood or check out the alley behind the pet store in the village.  Sweepings often contained sunflower seeds and exotic grains.


Milo and Posie had agreed upon building a nest at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  As contracts were being signed Posie wanted assurances from the Face of Everyman that the Montetorkie school was right for her kids.  Startled by the question; the venerable sage hedged and said something to the effect that her fledglings would be the biggest students the school had seen in some time.

U Dub

Belasco had stopped at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to ask directions to the university that had the best on going research into Crow behavior.  He was tired of eating road kill and wanted the balanced diet of cage-life.  Belasco’s demeanor was so brusque that at first the Face of Everyman feared for his life.   At last, the venerable sage was able to blurt out:  The U Dub has a good reputation.