It was census time for the pigeon population of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Their numbers had increased three fold since early Spring. Even with this remarkable recovery they would remain on the endangered species list. They had strong representation in every capital in the land. the Face of Everyman resigned himself. They would remain a thorn in his side.
The 3rd quarter budget planning session was turning contentious when the Face of Everyman asked for an increase in the line item for feeding feral pigeons. He produced this unedited photo that showed an increase in population. Heretofore there had been only five or six freeloaders but now, clearly ten. Ipso facto . . .
This would have to be labeled an anomaly. the face of Everyman had to report a gain in the pigeon census. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa now seemed to be attracting the riffraff. The venerable sage could only assume that this addition was a casual encounter and a count closer to five or six would be in his next report.
Baby Huey did not want to get out of the water. The waters of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa were most soothing and beneficial. He was intransigent; that is until Mom showed up and insisted that he leave. the Face of Everyman sighed a sigh of relief. Birds that big usually sat on his face while toweling off.
Each full moon the Face of Everyman called in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa bird count. He was especially pleased to report a reduction in numbers of two pigeon. Alas, he knew that these scavengers would always remain a thorn in his side.
The Big Plan, after they had finished gorging themselves, was to descend on any public statuary in the nearby village. the Face of Everyman urged them not to be a disgrace to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa by their silly antics.
the Face of Everyman was never sure where history was taking him. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was remote and off the beaten path of the Pacific Flyway; yet, this very morning stupid Pigeons were marching and practicing close order drill. Had social media chatter targeted this bit of paradise?
The arrival of the Fall Equinox required another Feral Pigeon Report to the local Audubon office near the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Their numbers had swelled; many claimed to be emigres from the vast wildfire zones. Of course, the Face of Everyman recognized several as year round drop-in guests and freeloaders.
The Labor Day Parade was just three weeks away. the Face of Everyman had entered his jump rope drill team: The Sparklers” into the competition expecting to win the coveted Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa silver cup for best precision drill team.
Producers creating a commercial ad for an online dating service asked to film at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. The casting call resulted in throngs of starving actors. The Sun was setting by the time the Face of Everyman could organize the auditions. Maybe they could film a few scenes tomorrow. The venerable sage was glad he hadn’t passed out Swag Bags.
torkelsbirds 