Tabby Cat

The National Database of feline bio-metrics confirmed that this intruder had the statistical probability of being a cat.  Cats were the least favored guest at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  the Face of Everyman felt compelled to develop a new algorithm that could assess the hunting skills and degree of hunger of each cat then issue an appropriate level of alarm.  Early trials would begin at dawn.  For now, everyone should shelter in place.


This week, to avoid paying her lodging and spa fees at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa, Anastasia claimed to be Caledonia, Queen of a lost tribe of Scots and hadn’t run up those charges.  the Face of Everyman had her Pinkerton Agency dossier and knew for a fact that she had been hatched in a dovecote in Hoboken, New Jersey.  Fantasy didn’t pay the rent.

Prix Fixe Dinner

the Face of Everyman was unsure what to do.  He had sold all Prix Fixe dinner tickets for the Valentines Day gala in the ballroom of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  Yet here was a thug demanding that he find one more table for this evening’s festivities.  Luckily, the venerable sage had one thing in his favor: Many couples argue on this day and cancel or fail to appear.  With a smile, Everyman was able to graciously oblige.


New Guest

the Face of Everyman tried to place the accent in the speech of the new guest.  All were welcome at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa but the venerable sage prided himself on knowing and placing every accent, no matter how and where guests learned their song.  He would have to bide his time on this newcomer.

800 Pound Gorilla

the Face of Everyman agreed to officiate at several sessions of couples therapy;  trouble was, that the couple brought their “800 pound Gorilla” to every session.  When the problem became obvious; the venerable sage suggested that the miserable couple try the therapist in the village.  After all the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa wanted to maintain it’s reputation for being a place for happy song birds.

‘Bucko’ Billy

A dis-masted vessel, battered by winter storms, sought refuge at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  Much to the surprise of the Face of Everyman ‘Bucko’ Billy Gordon , Mate of the Hell Ship Merriweather, hopped ashore.  He asked for a pint of rum and directions to where his Mother was roosting.


Camilla was clear in her demands for a better quality of suet.  the Face of Everyman protested that he was but the middleman representing the good folks at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa and that he would address this issue with the kindly ol’ pensioner.  Truth be told; Everyman was so over budget on bird seed and suet that he’d have to carry deficits clear into the third quarter.