Baby Huey

Baby Huey did not want to get out of the water. The waters of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa were most soothing and beneficial. He was intransigent; that is until Mom showed up and insisted that he leave. the Face of Everyman sighed a sigh of relief. Birds that big usually sat on his face while toweling off.


Each full moon the Face of Everyman called in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa bird count. He was especially pleased to report a reduction in numbers of two pigeon. Alas, he knew that these scavengers would always remain a thorn in his side.


The Big Plan, after they had finished gorging themselves, was to descend on any public statuary in the nearby village. the Face of Everyman urged them not to be a disgrace to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa by their silly antics.


the Face of Everyman was never sure where history was taking him. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was remote and off the beaten path of the Pacific Flyway; yet, this very morning stupid Pigeons were marching and practicing close order drill. Had social media chatter targeted this bit of paradise?


The arrival of the Fall Equinox required another Feral Pigeon Report to the local Audubon office near the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Their numbers had swelled; many claimed to be emigres from the vast wildfire zones. Of course, the Face of Everyman recognized several as year round drop-in guests and freeloaders.

Drill Team

The Labor Day Parade was just three weeks away. the Face of Everyman had entered his jump rope drill team: The Sparklers” into the competition expecting to win the coveted Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa silver cup for best precision drill team.


Producers creating a commercial ad for an online dating service asked to film at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. The casting call resulted in throngs of starving actors. The Sun was setting by the time the Face of Everyman could organize the auditions. Maybe they could film a few scenes tomorrow. The venerable sage was glad he hadn’t passed out Swag Bags.


Hugo arrived early, as soon as the Face of Everyman showed signs of being present. Summer working hours varied throughout the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Hugo was here to file Missing Pigeon Reports. Names and dates were left blank for now. The venerable sage tucked them away in the same folder as UFO sightings. Few MPRs were ever completed.


More than anything Kallax wanted to be an Action Hero.  He was always prepared to create an improvised cape, his head poking thru a hole in a paper napkin; and spring into action. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had an unusual surplus of dreamers.  the Face of Everyman knew from that moment that Kal’s mother had named him after a popular Ikea bookcase and storage unit; his future was irrevocably cast in stone.

Ozwald, Flying Ace

Ozwald told the story over and over again as long as someone else was buying the drinks at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  “I was returning from a secret night time sortie and as I was about to land I spotted incoming tracers.  There, off my starboard wing, was The Blue Max, camouflaged as a Northwestern Crow.  Jumping gee-hosa-fat, there was nothing else to do but clear my guns and roll into a classic aerial combat mode.  Last I saw, he was trailing smoke.”
The venerable sage remained mute.  He had his own “war stories”.