Ion Infuser

Addison was accustomed to pure filtered glacier water further enhanced with electrolytes and micro-clustered ions. This stuff at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa did not measure up.  The Ph was off the charts as far as she could tell.  the Face of Everyman pretended not to notice the noisy visitor.  He thought about investing in an ion infuser but he was way over budget this quarter.  The Board would remember this lack of judgement when it came time to discuss his Golden Handshake.

Bellicose Billy

the Face of Everyman had set aside the first day of each calendar quarter to hear the complaints of the murmurers and complainers.  Most folks were soft spoken and had “their hat in their hand” when they sought succor from a perceived wrong.  Not so with Bellicose Billy. Obstreperous was his middle name when it came to complaints about food.  His stipend had been late every time and was usually moldy and starting to ferment.  The venerable sage tried to point out that the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was at the end of the supply chain and that there were always substitutions and shortages.  Billy just turned up the volume.  There seemed no escape from his raucous voice.


Two raucous Jays bullied the Pigeons away from the seed set out by the kindly ol’ pensioner. His compensation for using their likeness in this daily blog from the very heart of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  the Face of Everyman had mixed feelings about the situational ethics involved.                                Audubon Facts and Photos:


CCrestwell had earned his degree from an online university.  He was now a certified Dietitian.  He was here today at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to enlist the aid of the Face of Everyman.  It seems that the kindly ol’ pensioner had reduced the lawful amount of table scraps for Jays to below caloric minimums called for in the UN Charter.  Surely the venerable sage could encourage those of the manor house to toss out a few bread butts now and again.

Tarzan of the Apes

The newest bird to find sanctuary at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa seemed nice enough, except . . .  he kept calling the Face of Everyman, “Bub” and “Old Timer”.  Worst yet, his habit of announcing his arrival as he descends through the thick Fall canopy screeching and yelling as though he were Tarzan, of the Apes.   There seems no end of noise this creature can create.  The venerable sage knew that nap times were going to be “catch as catch can” from this week forward.


Bernard arrived early for his interview.  He had applied to be the new Executive Chef at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa award winning Asian Fusion restaurant.  He chatted-up the Face of Everyman, hoping to get some insight on how he should respond to questions about his style of cooking.  “Well”, began the venerable sage, “Don’t tell them about your Cabbage Soup Diet skills or your Atkins diet training”.  Ultimately resort management went with Tex-Mex weekdays and Fish & Chips on the weekend.  Avian patronage dropped to zero.  The space will be remodeled as a video game center for those millennials who can’t be away from the ultimate high of HD game competition and Karaoke.





Coriander successfully passed all course materials for the Culinary Institute of American; waggishly referred to by some as the CIA.   But as art imitates life, “C” was assigned to infiltrate the three star rated restaurant at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  Could a fresh eye and a critical palate substantiate continued endorsement?   The report was damning.  Pate tasted like calf’s liver.  Wine came in a box. The paella was prepared from the rice swept up after each wedding.  The veal was in reality breast of Easter Bunny.  Noodle dishes drained and rinsed Thai take-out from the village. As their legal representative the Face of Everyman fought long and hard for a second chance.  Coriander could make no promises.  It wasn’t up to him.  Salads of local organics and new menu items appeared almost immediately. Wines from “E’s” own cellar were served with the first course.  Of course, the kindly ol’ pensioner slept soundly high above, in the great manor house, oblivious to the machinations below.