CCrestwell had earned his degree from an online university.  He was now a certified Dietitian.  He was here today at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to enlist the aid of the Face of Everyman.  It seems that the kindly ol’ pensioner had reduced the lawful amount of table scraps for Jays to below caloric minimums called for in the UN Charter.  Surely the venerable sage could encourage those of the manor house to toss out a few bread butts now and again.