the Face of Everyman thought perhaps these two were Guardian Angels coming to help an ailing member of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. But no, it turns out that the Venerable Sage himself was under audit by the IRS. He just had time to hide the 2nd set of books.
Largesse
The munificence of the kindly ol’ pensioner had negative results. His largesse could not be consumed by all the songbirds, crows and squirrels the visited the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Thus to the horror of the Face of Everyman a rat would visit in the dark of night and feast upon the fermenting grains and dry dusty seeds. The venerable sage would have to come up with a solution as to how to eliminate this unconsumed bounty before there became an infestation of Biblical proportions.
April Fools
the Face of Everyman assured Randy that the water flowing from the Spring of Perpetual Happiness tasted like Honeysuckle Nectar. Randy drank some and immediately realized that he was the butt of an April Fool’s joke. The venerable sage used that gag every year.
Hungry Crows
That nice couple, Posie and Milo, who booked in to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa last week started to show their true colors. They morphed into Bonnie and Clyde; one of them accused the Face of Everyman of being in cahoots with the kindly ol’ pensioner and not putting out enough seed and grain. The venerable sage took the harangue in stride and suggested that they look for orts in the neighborhood or check out the alley behind the pet store in the village. Sweepings often contained sunflower seeds and exotic grains.
Fire Bird
the Face of Everyman had accidentally invoked Aithne the demonic Fire Bird. How was he to dismiss this cacodemonic spirit before the entire Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was toast? His “best shot” was to utter the invocation in reverse. It worked. The venerable sage took an early lunch; he was shaken and felt exhausted.
Stash The Swag
The Flics were right behind him. Nine Lives Wynton had to hide the swag somewhere. What better place than beneath the Face of Everyman. At that moment the venerable sage awoke. He was starring into the eyes of the infamous cat burglar; who, no doubt, was responsible for all the jewel thefts at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Everyman wasn’t sure which part of this encounter was a dream; which not.
Crash
The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa has an enviable safety record. But, every once in awhile, there is a crash landing. Seen, above as recorded by the security camera, is a behemoth entering Resort airspace and attempting an uncontrolled landing. the Face of Everyman and his small songbird friend, Terwilliger, are bracing for the inevitable.
Extraction
A tooth had been bothering Elwood all week. The dental clinic at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was closed during Spring Break so the Face of Everyman recommended the old fashioned method of extracting a loose baby tooth: Knot a piece of string around the tooth and jerk quickly. The venerable sage had reached out to the tooth fairy; alerting her to be ready with a small coin to reward Elwood’s achievement.
Predators
The secondary security camera caught Penelope as she turned towards the distant sound of a coyote calling it’s mate. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was a sanctuary but perhaps large predators were unaware of such niceties. the Face of Everyman had done an exemplary job informing members of the food chain which sources of protein were off limits. By and large his efforts were successful; but, raptors still preyed on pigeons and coyotes on cats. C’est la guerre.
Twist and Shout
Little Wilbur wasn’t sure he believed the Face of Everyman’s explanation as to how he ended up askew. It went something like this: while leading a group of Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa guests in a joyous sing a long, at the part where you do “Twist and Shout”; the venerable sage avers that he did twist and indeed shout: “Ouch!”
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