Neap Tide

The Boys had planned to go clam digging at low tide.  Neither realized that you had to add an hour and a half to the times shown on the published tide tables for the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.   That waggish entrepreneur, the Face of Everyman, averted his gaze; he had rented them the special tools for Geoduck harvest; yet failed to inform them of the neap tide and the prolonged expected wait.


The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa village newspaper was offering a prize for the best essay on What Father’s Day Means To Me.  A few of the guys thought that if they brain stormed as a group they could come up with the prize winning essay.  the Face of Everyman was bemused.  Judging by the paucity of fledglings anywhere about; these bozos hadn’t a clue.


The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had a wide spectrum of guests and locals.  the Face of Everyman was constantly surprised by what he overheard.  Beatrix had been expecting her childhood friend Lance to propose.  Instead he wanted to ask her thoughts on his sharing a loft with Maximilian that hot new bartender.


Fregley was very pleased with his newly patented innovation: DIY mating plumage.  He waited for his buddy Ralph at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa; together they could troll for “chicks”.  Fregley knew his concoction wasn’t perfect; just a mixture of gun oil and lamp black.   But when applied lightly …  In dim light he looked all grown up.  the Face of Everyman suggested that Fregley add just a hint of Bay Rum or Lilac water.  Couldn’t hurt.

Yellow Peril

Leslie was the Advance Man for the famous rock group Yellow Peril.  They were on their third final world tour.  The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa is where the band first got together.  Back then, they were just a rag tag bunch of Cabana Boys trying to make their mark in a field already glutted with wannabes.  the Face of Everyman shuddered when he realized the nightly cacophony he would have to endure during their booking.


Once again it was an awkward moment at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  Neither could remember the Protocol applicable here.  Was it “First come, first served?”  “Age before beauty?”  “Ladies first?” Or alphabetical by taxonomic rank?  Bathing together never seemed an option.


These are exciting times at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  The Reverend Lambda has performed several matrimonial unions just this past week.  Seen here are Mavis and Doris joined at last.  The good Reverend completing his solemn officiating with his signature flamboyant gesture.  A true blessing for the new couple.