Once again tempers flared over a perceived sense of entitlement. Should the Spotted Towhee go first because he nested on the ground and probably was dirtier? And should the White-crowned Sparrow go next as he built his nest just a few feet above ground? Lastly should pushy immigrants, the House Sparrow, no better than English Starlings, be allowed to stare down decent common folks? the Face of Everyman held his tongue but resorted to his mind control abilities to plant in the mind of each guest that the the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was a sanctuary for all and trivial attitudes should be left at the boundary.
Lefty had at long last caught up with Mullard. They were archenemies. the Face of Everyman defused the confrontation by inviting each to sign up for the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Saturday Night Fights. Grudge fights were usually billed just before the title matches. Personal quarrels worked the crowd into a frenzy; if there was one.
Momma was a strong believer in cleanliness. Baby Silvester was trying to be good boy but the waters of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa felt like ice. She kept insisting that he scrub behind his ears. Dad was dripping wet and his teeth were chattering which only added to the drama of the family’s morning ablutions. the Face of Everyman tried to look away.
Tide tables were almost impossible to construct for the magical place known as the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. This month of January contained two full moons which confounded even the most sophisticated super computers. Scooter had hoped to find something interesting. Alas, the tide was flooding back. the Face of Everyman suggested he return about 2 AM and bring a flashlight.
Mullard was enjoying the warm waters of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. He shared the bright morning sunlight with the Face of Everyman but such pleasures were not to last. Cheeky, the squirrel, wanted to play tag. For some inexplicable and ungodly reason Mullard was it. For now “M” sought refuge on a nearby chimney top.
The Bucket Bros. Catch and Release had been fishing since dawn without success. In fact, “C” wasn’t sure that the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had stocked the pond. the Face of Everyman assured them that “fish abound in these waters”. To back up his claim he offered to loan them two of his award winning Royal Coachman tied flies adding that a few cleaned and dressed fish would be payment enough.
It became fashionable at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to have your DNA analyzed. Now Gaylord wished that he hadn’t. the Face of Everyman could have spared “G” the expense. One glance and the venerable sage could have been as accurate as the laboratory computer. A high percentage was House sparrow, followed by lesser amounts Grosbeaks and Finches. The “kicker” was a trace of Cedar Waxwing. Poor Gaylord, his grandfather took away his trust fund, golf club privileges and wrote him out of the will.
As Cosmic forces swept the Earth, no place was more effected than the imaginary bird land known as the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Amateur scientists estimate that gravity momentarily increased ten-fold. Seen above in a clip from the security camera is Mullard, a local, unable to resist this force and escape. Even the Face of Everyman regretted the few extra pounds he had gained lately because of his new craving for pumpkin pie.