Heloise had enrolled in the Synchronized Swimming class at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Apparently, when the colorful brochures were printed the folks at Corporate didn’t know that this resort had only a wading pool. Never the less the Face of Everyman would coach her thru the Fall semester; at which time she could transfer to the Olympic sized pool at Hilton Towers. Her Mom ran ads on Craig’s List seeking suitable swimming partners. “H” was focused on her Olympic dreams.
Reality Check
the Face of Everyman droned on and on about Constitutional safeguards, the role of the Supreme Court and voting rights. He knew that he had lost his audience when little Sparkie asked what voting meant. In preparation for his next boring talk the venerable sage “Googled” Congressional Districts. To his chagrin he discovered that the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa existed outside the boundaries of all reality.
Movie Extras
The casting director of a film company shooting scenes at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa sent out a call for extras to try out for brief walk on appearances as Oxford Dons in deep thought. In the end only one applicant showed true gravitas and the scene wrapped by sundown. However, the Face of Everyman was offered a long term contract to appear as a rock in upcoming film projects. He, of course, declined. After all, such work required absolutely no talent.
Lap Swimming
There had been a brief resurgence of open lane lap swimming at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. the Face of Everyman tried to grin and bear it. He witnessed the chaos reach a crescendo, then subside to a form of family swim and ultimately leisure swim. There were hopeful rumors that a kiddie pool would be open by next Spring.
Clan Macrobie
the Face of Everyman was proud to have been made an Honorary Kissing Cousin of Clan Macrobie. Few songbirds had seen the venerable sage in a Kilt done in the clan tartan pattern of the highlands. As you may expect, even at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa, there was always some jackanapes who wanted to answer that age old question.
Council Of Thirteen
The Council of Thirteen met quarterly at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. The minutes of the 2nd Quarter were read and approved. New business, as always, was a laundry list of complaints from the Face of Everyman. It was the same old diatribe of grievances, guests and locals alike took liberties: standing on his face and eyes, waking him during naps, flatulence, defecation … A new one concerned the lack of written response to his broadside of such matters to the Audubon Society. The meeting adjourned without action as the Tea Trolley was wheeled out onto the Lanai.
Soap
Baby Huey wanted to go home. He claimed that he had soap in his eyes and it stung. Mom tried to tell him to get back in the water quit crying. There had never been soap in the pristine waters of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. the Face of Everyman remained stoic. He had no skills at consoling bawling kids.
Arbitrary
Lil’ Quinton was sure that the Montetorkie School was to open today. In eagerness he had come early to the campus situated on the vast grounds of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. the Face of Everyman suggested that Q return home for a nap and return in a week or so. Opening dates being rather arbitrary.
Drivel
Sibling rivalry was intense with Dior and Aurelia. Few knew that right here in our own Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa a highly popular author and respected TV pop psychologist was always on duty. the Face of Everyman, with three NYT book review best sellers to his credit could only uttered some drivel like: “Why not just kiss and make up?”
The Law of Natural Consequences
The law of natural consequences extended even to this remote spot on the Pacific flyway. the Face of Everyman had warned everyone in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa astronomy club about wearing approved viewing glasses during the eclipse. Only Ozwald, the gemologist, received the full brunt of the diamond ring when he donned his jewelers loupe to appraise the cut, color, clarity and carat.
torkelsbirds 