It was in Dorian’s DNA to ride on the backs of the North American Bison; devouring the insects kicked up in the dust as vast herds moved about the great plains.   Alack and alas those days were long gone.  Dorian liked to come to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to ask the Face of Everyman to retell stories about his ancestors following stampeding beasts and feasting on clouds of insects.  Strangely the venerable sage relished recounting those some what gruesome tales.  Dorian was reduced to selling Time Shares in order to afford a few grasshoppers and crickets.

Angel of Death

Dorian, an Angel of Death, had returned to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  He brazenly sat on the Face of Everyman to show his contempt.  He scanned the guests to see which might be gathering nesting materials.  He and Ethel had long ago given up building their own nests.  Now their eggs went into the nest of others to be raised.  Soon Cowbirds could be found in the nearby Casino; hooping it up, playing the Slots, free from the drudgery of parenthood.

Baby Huey

Johnny Dark Eyes was released from two weeks quarantine and incarceration at the village pet store.  He returned to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to discover he was the proud father of a Brown Headed Cow Bird.   the Face of Everyman suggested that J join a local support group on the “Love, Care and Feeding of Parasitic Foster Hatchlings”.  As a typical rogue and scofflaw he approached parenting head on …  “Boy could Baby Huey put away the chow!”


Madge kept a watchful eye out for prospective hosts who would give her eggs a good home and proper rearing.  The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was an ideal location for such encounters.  She honestly tried to be fair about imposing her eggs and brood on unsuspecting young Moms of other breeds whose instincts told them that any egg in their nest was to become a hatchling to be loved.  the Face of Everyman tried to adopt a broader and more worldly view of such unconscionable deception.

Parasitic Birds

Each Spring at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa appear two classes of birds: the parasitic Brown-headed Cowbird and unsuspecting honest tax paying Warbler.  Seen above on security camera footage are Sonny and Madge; prolific Cowbirds.  They’re watching to see where a Warbler couple will nest.  At each established nest, Madge will leave one or more of her eggs. Unsuspecting Warblers will raise the oversized Cowbird hatchling often at the expense of their own offspring.  the Face of Everyman had circulated a petition against such unconscionable activity; but had failed to get the necessary signatures.  He pondered mass tort litigation.


The DNA evidence was clear.  The unnatural coupling of a European Starling and a Brown-headed Cowbird had produced a grotesque  offspring. The Mom’s Father was fit to be tied.  Renaldo hung his head; his command of English was poor but he understood every word of the diatribe.  There seemed no solution but to notify the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Office of Health and Avian Services and place the fledgling up for adoption.