Mustache Wax

Renaldo was only a couple of days late for his date with Isabella at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. He’d hoped that she would understand how hard it was to find mustache wax in this remote corner of the Pacific flyway. Turned out that the Face of Everyman kept a jar of it in his thespian makeup kit.


Isabella was new to the dating scene. She had agreed to share a suet block with the two guys who had posted winks to her dating site profile. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was starting to become the go to site for Spring break romances. the Face of Everyman was confident that spa amenities would attract the more well heeled clientele.


Robert was sure that the Robin’s request for money was a scam. He wanted to ask how he had lost his leg. Was it a famous battle? Suddenly the Face of Everyman interrupted and sent the fake scurrying. Panhandling was not allowed in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.

Hook Up

Annie checked in early at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Her online date was supposed to meet her here. the Face of Everyman marveled at how this remote spot off of the Pacific Flyway was becoming the hook up spot of renown.

He or She?

Mandrake refused to be identified as he or she until all his feathers were in. He felt most comfortable being called Mandrake and he had a trace of a mustache. The guest forms at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had spaces only for M or F. the Face of Everyman had been following the court’s ruling on such matters but hadn’t learned how many possibilities there were.

Sunset Cruise

Mildred had time on her hands, the sunset cruise of the islands surrounding the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa didn’t began for a few more hours. Surely one Long Island Iced Tea wouldn’t spoil her enjoyment of the cruise. the Face of Everyman had heard that kind of twisted rationale before. It was all he could do to keep from speaking up.


Billy-Bob had been practicing all morning, much to the perturbation of the Face of Everyman. Billy-Bob had entered the 4th of July watermelon spitting contest at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa holiday festival. He had his eye on the National Championship.

Scoville Scale

Joe Bob always got the hiccups when he knocked back a shot of Tequila with jalapeno flavored dried meal worms. the Face of Everyman had tried to warn him. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa meal worm hatchery had developed a really hot variety. It ranked near the Carolina Reaper on the Scoville Scale.

One Too Many

Aubrey knew that he had one too many Raspberry Nastoikis but he was sure that he could make it back to the roost before sundown. Seeing his state, the Face of Everyman offered to let him stay the night at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. It was the least he could do. He and Aubrey went way back.


Elrod came to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa with an appointment with the Face of Everyman. He wanted a keen assessment of his mustache; it didn’t seem to be growing in properly. Was he combing it too much? Was he using the wrong wax? The venerable sage suggested that he avoid Red Millet and eat only from feeders containing beef suet, peanut butter and tree nuts. Return in three weeks if there is no improvement.