Conway approached the Face of Everyman more on his own behalf than his narrow constituency. He had learned that an ear mark in the new tax bill would place a tariff on out of state Crawdad tails and offshore farmed garden slugs.  Many locals in Ward 3 of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa relied upon “C” to maintain the status quo.   Could “E” bring pressure to quash this onerous and unwarranted tax grab?   On this volatile subject the venerable sage remained mute as he was often wont to do.



For months Roscoe had planned a daring daylight raid on a clandestine Crawdad mill hidden somewhere on the vast grounds of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  It was meant to be a hit and run operation but somehow he got into a deep philosophical discussion with the Face of Everyman over the nutritional merits of crayfish over the common garden slug.  Poor Roscoe, he returned home empty handed and had to be satisfied with dumpster diving for someones discarded dried figs.


From somewhere deep below the surface of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa lagoon a hand reached up and firmly clasped the paw of Trasher.   In that brief moment he recalled every detail of the urban myth of “The Drowning Dutchman”; an early explorer of this perilous rocky coast.  Scenes of being dragged to the depths flashed through Trasher’s mind.  Luckily, as the Face of Everyman later explained, it was probably just a turtle investigating and sampling the new intruder.  Trasher shuddered in fear and revulsion.  The myth lives on in his young mind.

Cool Contacts

The Hazmat twins found pleasure in baiting the Face of Everyman.  As All Hallows’ Eve celebrations approached these rascals used every opportunity to perfect their skills at “tricking” rather than “treating.”  Residents at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa suspected that the twins were the ones who turned over the Cabana huts last year.  This year a Pinkerton agent would be on scene to prevent most acts of mischief.  Almost everyone agreed that blue contacts on Rogue and Scallywag looked pretty cool.

Gift Tote

Evangeline, had just received her kit for her new role as door-to-door sales person for cosmetics and gift cards.  She had exclusive rights to the the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa zip code residents.  So guess which sleeping curmudgeon she chose to be her very first customer?  Right. Yet, the Face of Everyman was never one to suppress entrepreneurial zeal; he ordered two of everything, and picked the free gift tote in blue.


It was after midnight when Rocky discovered the face of Everyman quietly moaning.  It seems that the venerable sage turned his head too quickly to catch sight of a meteor leaving a long trail thru the dark skies over the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Rocky slowly turned E’s head back to normal orientation.  Two weeks of physical therapy and that stiff neck would be as good as new.


Rocky enjoyed fishing.  He was naive when it came to believing others that the golden Koi were yet to be found in the waters of the Foggy Bottom Resort and Spa.  By the dim light of the waning crescent moon he groped deeper into the murky depths, hoping to not awaken the Face of Everyman.  He could be a real grouch …