Each morning the Lady of the Manor would descend the hill and tour the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. She came armed with a spiritual rod decorated with symbols to ward off attacks from Coyotes and to protect her cat Tula’. the Face of Everyman gave her a verbal report of security intrusions during past 24 hours. As usual he had slept soundly thru the night and based his report on a quick review of infrared images. The cat made no comment.
The National Database of feline bio-metrics confirmed that this intruder had the statistical probability of being a cat. Cats were the least favored guest at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. the Face of Everyman felt compelled to develop a new algorithm that could assess the hunting skills and degree of hunger of each cat then issue an appropriate level of alarm. Early trials would begin at dawn. For now, everyone should shelter in place.
Using sketchy bio-metrics the forensic security team at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was able to ID this intruder. Year old data suggested that this is Hercules, a semi-feral cat whose “owners” are off on a Snowbird camping trip. the Face of Everyman had pangs of conscience as it was he who sold the couple the Cat-o-matic 30 Day Feeder with a complementary bag of dry cat food. Assuring them that their beloved pet, who resided in the garage, would never ever stray.
Panther had been given a safe conduct pass to cross thru the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. She had explained to the Face of Everyman that she was on her way to the big city to demonstrate and march with others. The venerable sage extracted her promise to beg the kindly ol’ pensioner to reset his face to the camera. He was at a poor camera angle; one which lacked cinematic appeal to his fans.
Since last Halloween the Security computers have been attempting to ID the feline intruder into the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Until today there had been no descriptive match. Even the Face of Everyman was unable to offer a clue to the identity of this transgressor. It was the Foggy Bottom Irregulars who came up with name and lair of this beast. This makes for one more dossier that can be shared with Interpol.