Tabby Cat

The National Database of feline bio-metrics confirmed that this intruder had the statistical probability of being a cat.  Cats were the least favored guest at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  the Face of Everyman felt compelled to develop a new algorithm that could assess the hunting skills and degree of hunger of each cat then issue an appropriate level of alarm.  Early trials would begin at dawn.  For now, everyone should shelter in place.

Hercules

Using sketchy bio-metrics the forensic security team at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was able to ID this intruder. Year old data suggested that this is Hercules, a semi-feral cat whose “owners” are off on a Snowbird camping trip.  the Face of Everyman had pangs of conscience as it was he who sold the couple the Cat-o-matic 30 Day Feeder with a complementary bag of dry cat food.   Assuring them that their beloved pet, who resided in the garage, would never ever stray.

Safe Conduct Pass

Panther had been given a safe conduct pass to cross thru the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  She had explained to the Face of Everyman that she was on her way to the big city to demonstrate and march with others.  The venerable sage extracted her promise to beg the kindly ol’ pensioner to reset his face to the camera.  He was at a poor camera angle; one which lacked cinematic appeal to his fans.

Hercules

Since last Halloween the Security computers have been attempting to ID the feline intruder into the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  Until today there had been no descriptive match.  Even the Face of Everyman was unable to offer a clue to the identity of this transgressor.  It was the Foggy Bottom Irregulars who came up with name and lair of this beast.  This makes for one more dossier that can be shared with Interpol.

Indie

During the brief interlude when the Raccoons weren’t skylarking or terrorizing the Face of Everyman the neighborhood cat; Indiana Jones, took center stage and reclaimed his territorial rights to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  Indie was a veteran of avoiding direct conflict but he knew that there would be a new crop of scrappy bandits born every couple of years.  Maybe the venerable sage would sell him a some extra lives on credit.

ACLU

With the help of the ACLU Panther won the right to pass thru the vast grounds of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa; a UNESCO protected avian sanctuary.  At certain times she has to be escorted by the resident cat of the manor house, Tula’.  the Face of Everyman preached Civil Liberties for all; but Feral Cats came near the bottom of the list.

Grand Jury

The Grand Jury was quick to indict Panther aka Lucy for the attempted murder of Mullard, a former grounds keeper for the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  the Face of Everyman testified that Panther was a known vagrant and a frequent intruder.  The kindle ol’ pensioner may be directed by Court Order to “Bell” the beast.

Alert!

Early warning sensors alerted the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  The klaxons blared; citizens were advised to shelter in place.  A marauding villain was on a predawn hunt.  the Face of Everyman recognized the predatory being as a neighborhood house cat from a good family.  The venerable sage cleared his throat loud enough to scare the trespasser into a hasty retreat.  Sunrise came to a tranquil paradise.

Tell Tail

Silent alarms were triggered.  Initial analysis of the intruder determined it was a Cat from outside the safe zone perimeter of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  Triangulation and samples of airborne DNA determined that it must be Panther hiding behind the Cabana Huts with only her tail visible.  the Face of Everyman suggested that a high level of readiness be maintained till the predatory feline left the vast estate.