Somebody sneezed. The whole flock abandoned the buffet line at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Escape was their only thought. Each feared the other might be contaminated with some dreaded respiratory disease. the Face of Everyman had designated quarantine roosts and was awaiting test kits from the CDC.
the Face of Everyman’s Mother had always said, “Birds of a feather flock together.” Seen below is proof. As these two species of birds wreak havoc on the Friday afternoon smorgasbord at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Everyman was already over budget this quarter because of the New Years Eve party. He would have to call on his creative accounting skills to make things look right.
Greed and Sloth contributed to this six pigeon pile up on I-5. There were no injuries but several participants were taken to the clinic at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa; checked and released. the Face of Everyman added that the sense of entitlement was also a contributing factor. The venerable sage had little respect for these greedy free loaders.
It was back to the drawing board for the Face of Everyman. His attempts at making the first solar powered bird were not achieving his goals. He had carefully read every “Tom Swift and his Electric _____” book in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa library and it was clear that he was close. It came down to solar energy from the Sun. This week this faraway outpost on the Pacific Flyway recorded the darkest day ever in historical records. The venerable sage postponed further test until after the Spring Equinox.
The Christmas office party at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was sluggish. Salaried workers were slow to mix with hourly coworkers. the Face of Everyman judiciously added a jeroboam of the bubbly to the punch bowl; then laced the party-mix with jalapeno sauce and stood back.
The pidgeons are up to their old tricks; illegal gambling at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Some run the shell game others three card monte. The guests always lose. the Face of Everyman decided to have some fun. Pigeons scattered when he yelled “Cops.”
With the election results for most races in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa almost assured; conspiracy theories grew in astounding numbers. Even the Face of Everyman could not quell the absurd ones fast enough with facts or counter theories. By Sunday noon he was too exhausted to think; hopefully a nap would help.
Lovelace the Elder mused as to how the mighty had fallen as he observed a couple scavenging for seeds meant for songbirds. The poet looked to the Face of Everyman for answers as to how these two had fallen on hard times and were now homeless in this land of bounty: the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. The venerable sage passed the blame on to the kindly ol’ pensioner. Where will “the buck” stop?
The Ungrateful Five once part of much larger flock; now reduced to the parents, two siblings and a maiden aunt. They had been added to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa endangered species list. the Face of Everyman wept when he realized their plight. Was it wrong for the kindly ol’ pensioner to add them to his daily rations and largesse? Had they lost their edge to remain free to forage? Had they reached a population tipping point, or was it all in the natural order of things?
Each year the Face of Everyman hosted the Veterans Day pancake breakfast at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. This year the descendants of the WW I Army Corps Carrier Pigeons received special honors. The venerable sage announced that the highlight today would be the wedding of Two to the Nth power grandchildren of the most decorated wartime carrier pigeons. It was his great pleasure to present “Le Vaillant” and the beautiful,“Cher Ami”. Few turned their heads, but a hoarse chorus of “Here, Here” was evident.