The pulsating beat of the Spanish guitar and rhythmic accompaniment of castanets was too much for Carmelita; her early Flamenco training over came her. the Face of Everyman had been seeking a new opening act for his Spring Varieties Show at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Dang! The venerable sage was fresh out of bi-lingual artist contracts.
Tax Returns
Philby was emphatic in denouncing those who sought to have his client’s tax forms released. He chose the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa as a symbolic site of liberty to state his case. the Face of Everyman was always curious as to which of the guests every filed an income tax return.
Please, Mom . . .
Rocky, Jr. pleaded with his Mom. He didn’t want to go home. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had the best garbage cans and the freshest water for miles around. Mom wasn’t hearing any excuses. She was afraid that the Face of Everyman would give Junior some uppity ideas about earning a living and paying taxes.
Play Dates
Edna stopped by to ask if it would be okay to bring her new Fawn to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa for play dates with the other new Mothers with Fawns. the Face of Everyman considered the request and then asked that she made sure everyone looked where they stepped; little songbirds might be under foot.
Audit
the Face of Everyman thought perhaps these two were Guardian Angels coming to help an ailing member of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. But no, it turns out that the Venerable Sage himself was under audit by the IRS. He just had time to hide the 2nd set of books.
Largesse
The munificence of the kindly ol’ pensioner had negative results. His largesse could not be consumed by all the songbirds, crows and squirrels the visited the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Thus to the horror of the Face of Everyman a rat would visit in the dark of night and feast upon the fermenting grains and dry dusty seeds. The venerable sage would have to come up with a solution as to how to eliminate this unconsumed bounty before there became an infestation of Biblical proportions.
April Fools
the Face of Everyman assured Randy that the water flowing from the Spring of Perpetual Happiness tasted like Honeysuckle Nectar. Randy drank some and immediately realized that he was the butt of an April Fool’s joke. The venerable sage used that gag every year.
Hungry Crows
That nice couple, Posie and Milo, who booked in to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa last week started to show their true colors. They morphed into Bonnie and Clyde; one of them accused the Face of Everyman of being in cahoots with the kindly ol’ pensioner and not putting out enough seed and grain. The venerable sage took the harangue in stride and suggested that they look for orts in the neighborhood or check out the alley behind the pet store in the village. Sweepings often contained sunflower seeds and exotic grains.
Fire Bird
the Face of Everyman had accidentally invoked Aithne the demonic Fire Bird. How was he to dismiss this cacodemonic spirit before the entire Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was toast? His “best shot” was to utter the invocation in reverse. It worked. The venerable sage took an early lunch; he was shaken and felt exhausted.
Stash The Swag
The Flics were right behind him. Nine Lives Wynton had to hide the swag somewhere. What better place than beneath the Face of Everyman. At that moment the venerable sage awoke. He was starring into the eyes of the infamous cat burglar; who, no doubt, was responsible for all the jewel thefts at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Everyman wasn’t sure which part of this encounter was a dream; which not.
torkelsbirds 