May Day

As dawn broke over the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa the early birds got a gut wrenching view of the Face of Everyman torn from his moorings by May Day activist.  This vandalism was clearly the work of those Raccoons who seemed to have no steady employment.  The heavy lift cranes had been called in to right this wrong.

Dumpster Diving

Dawn came and Ronnie was still trying to tell the Face of Everyman how life was so unfair.  There was less and less good garbage to be had in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa or the near by village.  First it was Disposals, then composters, then locking lids on curbside cans.  Dumpster Diving just isn’t what it was like in the old days.  Ronnie could remember stories his grandfather used to tell of knocking over garbage cans in town and strewing the fermenting mess up and down the alleyways.  The venerable sage could only nod; all the while computing Pi to the Nth decimal in his head to help relieve his boredom.

Higgs Boson

In his secret laboratory deep beneath the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa the Face of Everyman ran the Mini-hadron collider.  Each time that he came close to capturing a Higgs Boson for study of “The God Particle” a shaft of light would appear and the venerable sage would lose his ability to concentrate.


Cheeky pretended to ignore the solid phalanx of songbirds advancing slowly towards his position.  Could a small group of rag tag sparrows defend their territory and food supply from this huge rodent?  He probably didn’t even like the stuff that came Oppenheimer’s Deluxe Patio Mix.  the Face of Everyman tried to put the kibosh every squabble at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  He enforced an eleventh hour treaty.


the Face of Everyman remained on constant vigil thruout the night as an Arctic Outbreak clashed with a Pineapple Clipper dumping heavy wet snow.  He only hoped that the small emergency pond heater could keep the waters of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa free of ice and safe for navigation.  Migrating songbirds and arriving guests were re-routed to the stately conifers on a hill high above this otherwise lush garden spot.  Pool boys restocked feeders at emergency shelters.