Alas, the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was no longer the Utopian sanctuary it claimed. the Face of Everyman looked on in horror as Ming, the Merciless displayed his trophy songbird. Where, oh where, were those neighbor cats? They should be here defending their hereditary hunting grounds from rapacious interlopers like Ming, the Merciless.
Glamour
Erlene posed for over a hundred glamour shots in the early morning hours at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. She wanted a provocative pose to share with her new online contact Billy Bob. the Face of Everyman furnished contraband cigarettes for several takes meant to be sexy but they quickly unraveled. In the end it was all for nought. Billy Bob was searching for a nest builder. Someone to extend his legacy down thru the ages. Besides his condo had a non-smoking deed restriction.
Miss Manners
the Face of Everyman never quite understood why his particular face was found suitable for picnic lunches. Most birds at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa were capable of eating seeds and small bugs on the fly. The larger the bird the more obnoxious the behavior. Or it seemed. The venerable sage abhorred folks who ate with their mouths open. He would share this feeling in his letter to Miss Manners.
Soak Before Cracking
Erstwhile longed to be back in the circus. Foraging for food was often laborious even at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. The meats of the sunflower seed seemed a poor reward for soaking before cracking. Back in the circus he had been painted up as a Mynah bird and mimicked peoples speech and was rewarded with treats plus three squares a day. the Face of Everyman offered Erstwhile a contract but couldn’t meet the generous benefits that the circus provided.
The Visitor
Clan Leader of Crow Local #313 paid a courtesy call on the Face of Everyman. He suggested that Everyman provide better food to those clan members who nested in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa and surrounding area. Before leaving, Clan Leader reiterated that this was but a suggestion not muscle.
Ever Watchful
Melissa was as quiet as she could be. She left her nest in the vast forest of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa and sought a quick drink and a vegan wrap. Before departing her eyes searched the perimeter area for the evil Brown-headed Cowbird. A wink from the Face of Everyman indicated it was “All clear” never the less she flew home by a circuitous route.
Hungry Crows
That nice couple, Posie and Milo, who booked in to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa last week started to show their true colors. They morphed into Bonnie and Clyde; one of them accused the Face of Everyman of being in cahoots with the kindly ol’ pensioner and not putting out enough seed and grain. The venerable sage took the harangue in stride and suggested that they look for orts in the neighborhood or check out the alley behind the pet store in the village. Sweepings often contained sunflower seeds and exotic grains.
School
Milo and Posie had agreed upon building a nest at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. As contracts were being signed Posie wanted assurances from the Face of Everyman that the Montetorkie school was right for her kids. Startled by the question; the venerable sage hedged and said something to the effect that her fledglings would be the biggest students the school had seen in some time.
U Dub
Belasco had stopped at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to ask directions to the university that had the best on going research into Crow behavior. He was tired of eating road kill and wanted the balanced diet of cage-life. Belasco’s demeanor was so brusque that at first the Face of Everyman feared for his life. At last, the venerable sage was able to blurt out: The U Dub has a good reputation.
Oscar Night
Oscar night presenters have arrived early; too early for the red carpet to be in place. While waiting they had a chance to be regaled by a few reflections of the early days by the Face of Everyman. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had been the location of many an early Cecil B DeMille epic. Perhaps they had seen “The Ten Commandments”? The venerable sage reluctantly admitted that he had been one of the many rock extras seen in the background.
torkelsbirds 