Breakfast at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa weight loss clinic was a thin gruel of Barley water and something dreadful which compounded Palomar’s feelings of hunger. He stepped outside for a smoke and a brief chat with the Face of Everyman while casting his eyes about for any orts. Expletive. Evening waitstaff had been meticulous.
Clinic
Palomar had booked into the world famous weight loss clinic at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. On the first day he broke the rules, stuffing his face. When caught on camera, all he could say was: “Does this pop corn make me look fat?” The venerable sage had witnessed this scene played over and over.
Pop Corn
Finisterre loved pop corn with butter. Unfortunately the sweepings from last night’s movies at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was drenched in truffle oil with a hint of Brewer’s yeast. His only resort was soaking each fluffy kernel in the cleansing waters. Luckily for the Face of Everyman truffle oil was close to SPF-60.
Worst Fears
The newly arrived couple had begun nesting at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. the Face of Everyman tried to shut his eyes and hold his breath as wave after wave threatened to sink him. If he’d only known that they were avid water polo players he would have recommended them to nest at the London Water Polo League; an organization he helped found.
Nest Builder
The Mrs. is busy building her first nest. She will use the dried grasses and sticks found nearby in the forests of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Construction materials are made pliable by soaking. Yada, yada, yada. the Face of Everyman didn’t care about all that kind of talk; he wanted to recount his whole litany of complaints: standing on his face, muddying the pristine waters, hogging the pool, . . .
Toughs
A couple of Toughs stopped by the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. With all the activity of the landscapers they had assumed that perhaps the Spa was up for sale and being staged. Bonnie wanted to expand into the personal services arena; while Clyde thought he might enjoy running the bar and casino. the Face of Everyman assured them that nothing was for sale and that they should return for the grand opening when the vast newly planted gardens would be in full color.
Not To Scale
A new family had heard of the magical land of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Their first visit was a disappointment. They were not to scale; too large. the Face of Everyman suggested that they bathe at the fountain in the nearby village. They were nice enough . . . but “E” knew that they would be back.
Paparazzi
With the Paparazzi lurking in the background the Face of Everyman was forced to cease filming of his latest epic: “Battle of Thermopylae”. He was going to go over budget with his lease of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa as the set and two Crows cast as King Leonidas and King Xerxes. Show Biz wasn’t what he’d thought it would be.
AAA Rating
The AAA rating team conducted a surprise visit to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. They started with the luncheon menu. Things went down hill from there. Large servings were used to mask the lack of variety. No road kill and a complete disregard for patrons who might appreciate servings of pop corn or french fries. Try as he might the Face of Everyman could not find words to ameliorate their findings. They left and vowed to return in six months. The Spa’s triple “A” rating was at stake. “E” had his work cut out for him.
Toastmasters
Seen above in an archived image are the founding fathers of the Foggy Bottom Resort and Spa Toastmasters Club. Organizational suggestions offered by the Face of Everyman went unheeded. In the end the noontime Club disbanded and returned their charter. The two main reasons given: the catered road kill servings were small and the speeches were to be given in Esperanto.
torkelsbirds 