the Face of Everyman was trying to put together a Barber Shop Quartet as the closing act of his Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Spring Follies. It was more difficult than he thought. It was like herding a bunch of Cats. They couldn’t get the harmony right on the most simple songs like: Frere Jacques or Twinkle twinkle little star. The show opened in two weeks and was SRO already.
The Gift
Hollingsworth wanted a family photo to give his Mother on Mothers Day. Trouble was that neither Marleen nor Randal wanted to be photographed. It didn’t matter that the backdrop was the beautifully manicured gardens of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. In the end the Face of Everyman photo-shopped smiling faces on each subject. Mom cried when she received such a precious gift.
Dumpster Diving
Dawn came and Ronnie was still trying to tell the Face of Everyman how life was so unfair. There was less and less good garbage to be had in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa or the near by village. First it was Disposals, then composters, then locking lids on curbside cans. Dumpster Diving just isn’t what it was like in the old days. Ronnie could remember stories his grandfather used to tell of knocking over garbage cans in town and strewing the fermenting mess up and down the alleyways. The venerable sage could only nod; all the while computing Pi to the Nth decimal in his head to help relieve his boredom.
Higgs Boson
In his secret laboratory deep beneath the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa the Face of Everyman ran the Mini-hadron collider. Each time that he came close to capturing a Higgs Boson for study of “The God Particle” a shaft of light would appear and the venerable sage would lose his ability to concentrate.
The Kid
There wasn’t much fight left in “The Kid” yet he had found his way home to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Even that much seemed a miracle. He had lost bits of himself in every encounter. the Face of Everyman would supervise his physical therapy on the long road to full recovery. Modern 3D printers would fabricate the body parts he needed to be made whole.
Ian and Myra
Ian posted himself where could observe young couples selecting materials to build their nests. He would follow them home. When eggs were in the nest, he would lead Myra to where she would toss the other eggs out to make room for hers. Then both would be off to Bingo-nite at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Casino. Most often the unwitting hosts work exhaustively to feed and raise the much larger hatchling. the Face of Everyman could only look the other way. This fiendish life style had been going on for eons and eons.
Child support
Mullard knew that he owed back child support but he never thought that Mildred would have the Sheriff of Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa send a drone to serve him papers. the Face of Everyman averted his gaze; pretending not to see this new advancement in law enforcement.
Birthmark
Aasha returned to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa after three months of religious instruction on the subcontinent. He was an ideal convert. He was born with the sacred mark, the Tilak, in the middle of his forehead. He and the Face of Everyman conversed in flawless Hindi.
Hot Tub
Doreen had reserved the hot tub for 6 AM. The scented soothing waters were just what she needed after an all nighter as a croupier at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Casino. the Face of Everyman was barred from the Casino in as much as he could envision the outcome of the turn of the card or throw of the dice.
Omissions
Wyandotte had shown the figures to the Face of Everyman. There was no other way to say it: Golden-crowned Sparrows were seriously under represented in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Blog. The venerable sage knew that this grievous omission had to be corrected before the ACLU descended upon this small bit of paradise. Wyandotte was unwilling to count today’s post as a meaningful attempt to right a wrong.
torkelsbirds 