TULA, guardian of the manor house, returned from Miss Thistlewaite’s obedience school for elderly cats. She immediately forgot ever skill that she had acquired except one: Pointing. As a “practical joke” the Face of Everyman signed Tula up for the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Sportsmen Club field trials. No one was more surprised than her mistress when Tula was awarded a second prize and ribbon. She could of easily taken the First from the English Setter and Labrador Retriever, but she was weak in flushing game and retrieving.
Security forces cordoned off the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to prevent unauthorized photos of Tula’ the cat, from being used to confirm or deny the ugly rumor that her visit to a private clinic last week was for the purpose of having her tail straightened. In the end it was all for naught. A small boy, a guest perhaps, slipped through the net and took the above photo on a Brownie Box camera purchased on eBay. the Face of Everyman, caught unawares, wished that he had had time to pose. After all, his face was truly his fortune.
A small group of well wishers gathered at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Concerns over the health and well being of Tula the manor house cat foremost on their minds. the Face of Everyman requested that flowers and Teddy bears be placed near the Cabana huts to avoid plugging the pumps. It was acceptable to float small candles on the water. In the distance, held at bay by Security forces, a handful of Paparazzi clamored for Tula to appear and prove to all that her tail had not been straightened during her visit to the private clinic. .
The word on the street at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was received with mixed emotions. Many were concerned; some relieved; when it was revealed that the kindly ‘ol pensioner and the lady of the manor had taken their cat “Tula” to the Vet. Hours passed and concerns deepened. At long last the Face of Everyman induced his being into a deep trance. Spirits from the world beyond assured him that all was well and the heavily sedated feline would be home by Wine Time. Wags thought up clever remarks like: “I bet it was really a weight loss clinic.” “Bet she was having her tail straightened.” “Perhaps a face lift?” All were pleased to see Tula home safely.