In his secret laboratory deep beneath the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa the Face of Everyman ran the Mini-hadron collider. Each time that he came close to capturing a Higgs Boson for study of “The God Particle” a shaft of light would appear and the venerable sage would lose his ability to concentrate.
The Kid
There wasn’t much fight left in “The Kid” yet he had found his way home to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Even that much seemed a miracle. He had lost bits of himself in every encounter. the Face of Everyman would supervise his physical therapy on the long road to full recovery. Modern 3D printers would fabricate the body parts he needed to be made whole.
Ian and Myra
Ian posted himself where could observe young couples selecting materials to build their nests. He would follow them home. When eggs were in the nest, he would lead Myra to where she would toss the other eggs out to make room for hers. Then both would be off to Bingo-nite at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Casino. Most often the unwitting hosts work exhaustively to feed and raise the much larger hatchling. the Face of Everyman could only look the other way. This fiendish life style had been going on for eons and eons.
Child support
Mullard knew that he owed back child support but he never thought that Mildred would have the Sheriff of Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa send a drone to serve him papers. the Face of Everyman averted his gaze; pretending not to see this new advancement in law enforcement.
Birthmark
Aasha returned to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa after three months of religious instruction on the subcontinent. He was an ideal convert. He was born with the sacred mark, the Tilak, in the middle of his forehead. He and the Face of Everyman conversed in flawless Hindi.
Hot Tub
Doreen had reserved the hot tub for 6 AM. The scented soothing waters were just what she needed after an all nighter as a croupier at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Casino. the Face of Everyman was barred from the Casino in as much as he could envision the outcome of the turn of the card or throw of the dice.
Omissions
Wyandotte had shown the figures to the Face of Everyman. There was no other way to say it: Golden-crowned Sparrows were seriously under represented in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Blog. The venerable sage knew that this grievous omission had to be corrected before the ACLU descended upon this small bit of paradise. Wyandotte was unwilling to count today’s post as a meaningful attempt to right a wrong.
Cherry Blossoms
A gust of wind slammed a Cherry blossom petal into the Face of Everyman. Strangely the pain was excruciating. A tear drop formed in the eye of the venerable sage. Were the various deities found in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa seeking revenge for some past slight? An offering of a lavender scented candle would go a long way towards repairing the wound. He thought.
Failure
Deep in his secret underground laboratory the Face of Everyman had been developing a formula for a water dispersing product to keep bird feathers dry. The results of experiment WD-39 was a utter failure. A guest at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa agreed to buy the formula for a dollar. Not long after, the venerable sage read an article in the Wall Street Journal that something called WD-40 had become an overnight success.
Field Rations
Returning guests are always welcome at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa but the Face of Everyman has words of caution. The insect population is not yet up to full strength. Leroy and his bride might have to supplement normal foraging with some war surplus MREs.
torkelsbirds 