Uncle Louie was a renown Crawdad Caller. The family sought out his unique skills to prove once and for all the question of crawdads in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Unca’ Louie would start with a low moan and work up to a piercing shriek. Supposedly this would cause any fresh water crayfish to rise to the surface for an easy harvest. About then the Face of Everyman awoke with a start. If they’d only asked, he could have told them.
Mohs of Six
Time and again guests at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had been asked not to feed the Sea Birds. They were predacious and threatened everyone in the sanctuary. A mere french fry carelessly discarded was enough to attract their attention. the Face of Everyman was unnaturally frightened of these creatures even though he himself possessed a Mohs hardness of Six. He was on the verge of trembling but he knew not to show fear in their presence.
Mushrooms
the Face of Everyman suspected that Benji had gotten hold of some exotic mushrooms, or, more likely, stale peanuts. In a wide-eyed ghoulish state he kept trying to push off the Olympic size pool at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa as if it were a row boat. The venerable sage attempted to thwart Benji’s efforts with all the magnetic power at his disposal. After all, he didn’t want to be found on some far off tropical island bobbing face down in the surf.
Lock Down
Cletis had received his concealed carry permit and as anyone with the mind of a fourteen year old he wanted to impress the Face of Everyman with his quick draw skills. One thing led to another and the young lad had fanned off six rounds in the blink of an eye. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa remained on lock down until Tuesday after lunch.
Newsletter
Pastor Bob’s February Newsletter came out today showing the brave Shepard leading members his flock to the safety of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. There is no mention of the Face of Everyman who nearly suffocated beneath the snow until rescued, some say, by passing ice skaters.
Nesting Mom
Irene had been assigned remedial flying lessons by the Headmaster of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Montietorkie School. the Face of Everyman knew what was going through the poor girls mind: She really didn’t need to know how to fly all that well. She was going to be a stay at home Mom. She looked forward to caring for four or five broods a year. All she needed now was a good provider.
Little People
Two of the Little People from the Circus moseyed over to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to say goodbye to the face of Everyman. They were leaving the circus life for a new career in film. They were going to be stunt doubles in a wildly successful TV series about Kings, Ice and Dragons. “Dang!” The venerable sage was going to have to renew his cable subscription.
Hercules
Once again, inexplicably, the Early Warning Klaxon had failed to warn of an intruder entering the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. As the Face of Everyman slowly came out of his REM stage sleep he was able to comprehend what this semi-feral feline wanted. Somewhere Hercules had heard that one needed to apply for a Songbird Hunting License before one could legally take a bird. The venerable sage assured him that the the Resort was now a sanctuary with laws against hunting anything. The big cat left unhappy and unfulfilled; you knew he’d be back.
Cabana Boy
Brayden was looking for work at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa; maybe a part-time Cabana Boy during Spring Break. the Face of Everyman had read his CV. He seemed over qualified. The regulars would not be back from Mexico until about the end of March. Prospects looked slim for the newcomer. However there might be an opening for Locker room towel boy on the weekend grave shift.
Oscar Night
Oscar night presenters have arrived early; too early for the red carpet to be in place. While waiting they had a chance to be regaled by a few reflections of the early days by the Face of Everyman. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had been the location of many an early Cecil B DeMille epic. Perhaps they had seen “The Ten Commandments”? The venerable sage reluctantly admitted that he had been one of the many rock extras seen in the background.
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