Oberon had just completed his MBA and was sharing ideas with the Face of Everyman about which enterprise he might be best suited. The guests of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had about everything they might want. The two minds briefly considered a Fish & Chips shop but then the fear of unruly Sea Gulls or Crows stealing the product nixed that idea. Oberon ended up being content with chasing his cousins up, down and around the stately trees on the vast grounds of the resort.
A Modest Gift
It was always a uncomfortable time for the Face of Everyman when the auditors descended on the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. The venerable sage had used creative bookkeeping to make things look right, “all proper” as they say. But these guys were expert bean counters. No ledger was so artfully cross-indexed that they couldn’t spot the flaw. However, each left with a bottle of Old Crow Kentucky Bourbon; a modest gift from a grateful franchise manager.
Anxiety
the Face of Everyman was startled awake because of his re-occurring nightmare. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was rarely visited by sea birds. Curiosity could be the only reason this enormous creature landed here. The venerable sage hoped that if he closed his eyes the monster would disappear. He promised himself that he would seek help for his PTSD. He couldn’t deal with this anxiety much longer.
Speed of Light
Early attempts by the Face of Everyman to accelerate an object to the speed of light showed promise. Seen above is his highly compensated lab assistant, Igor performing as a test subject. Telemetry data revealed that only Igor’s wing tips and beak neared the test objectives. The entire staff of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa awaited the return of this brave avian pioneer.
Jumping Jacks
Arnold was in training for the Jack LaLane look alike contest to be held at Muscle Beach here at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. the Face of Everyman agreed to count Arnold’s jumping jacks but gave up around one hundred thousand. There seemed no point in continuing.
Army Reunion
the Face of Everyman had thoughts of getting out of the catering business at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. For this Army Buddies reunion he had watered down the drinks and added more junk food to the serving line; but as soon as the brandy and cigars were passed out, the fights began. The venerable sage needed a better plan to prevent next year’s Donnybrook.
Sunscreen
The village newspaper reported that today’s noontime UV rating for the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa would be One. Never-the-less Johnny Dark Eyes made sure that his beak was slathered in sunscreen; his preferred SPF 60, of course. the Face of Everyman tried not to smirk at this over abundance of caution.
Prerogative
Once again tempers flared over a perceived sense of entitlement. Should the Spotted Towhee go first because he nested on the ground and probably was dirtier? And should the White-crowned Sparrow go next as he built his nest just a few feet above ground? Lastly should pushy immigrants, the House Sparrow, no better than English Starlings, be allowed to stare down decent common folks? the Face of Everyman held his tongue but resorted to his mind control abilities to plant in the mind of each guest that the the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was a sanctuary for all and trivial attitudes should be left at the boundary.
Flu Season
A touch of something was going around. Here and there among the folks at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa sore throats and that achy feeling were common complaints to the Face of Everyman. The venerable sage would prescribe finding a nice warm roost and gargling with nectar from the Honey Suckle vine. If the case was serious; a small vial of absinthe was dispensed. A co-payment was never requested.
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