Caught like a Deer in the headlights Mollie tried to profess her innocence despite a mouthful of delicious Buttercup stems. During interrogation by the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Security Forces she changed her story numerous times. She asked that the Face of Everyman be called as her defense. Surely he would verify that deadheading the blooms produced even more flowers. In the end she lost her Title II grazing privileges for twenty-four hours. She may be deemed beyond rehabilitation.
The Mayhem Kids
A hot Summer night at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa brought the return of the Mayhem Kids. Infamous rapscallions. Their antics tipped the Face of Everyman into the dark waters. His muffled cries were heard by the kindly ol’ pensioner, who, after breakfast, sorted things out.
Early Season
The lounge at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa closed early last night after a lot of pushing and shoving by the older Bucks. Some displays of temper continued outside. Finally most wandered off to sleep or rub antlers on trees. A few Does remained to trim leaves from lush, highly prized ornamental shrubs. the Face of Everyman went back to sleep. He never could understand this yearly dance.
Negotiations
The Dark Lord appeared in response to complaints from Crow constituents about the poor selection of appropriate foods at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa luncheon buffet. the Face of Everyman was quick to respond: A Crow family had a nest nearby and were about infrequently. Roving flocks were gracious enough to not intrude. In the end a compromise was reached; a small amount of artisan bread would be would be made available; subject to plundering by Raccoons, Dogs and Herring Gulls. The outcome could give politics a good name.
Cherry Filching
Rocky had been filching red cherries from the kindly ol’ pensioner’s tree. He held up a paw to show the Face of Everyman the deep red color and begged to wash up as raccoons are want to do. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was very particular about the purity of the water. However, the venerable sage found the the thought of cherry flavored water intriguing. “Perhaps, just this once.”
Passports
With Summer travel hitting new peaks, the Face of Everyman made a modest investment in a Passport Photo Kiosk. The franchise did poorly at first as the denizens of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa never really understood the strict instructions involved.
Diondra
Her parents had named her Diondra (Lady of the Sacred Spring). Most fitting for a youngster born at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa, site of the Spring of Perpetual Giving. Poor old the Face of Everyman he had to avert his gaze each time Diondra stumbled and fell. The gal was without an ounce of poise.
The High Court
The High Court met at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to consider the merits of a case alleging poor quality of food served by the kindly ol’ pensioner. After hearing arguments they adjourned for a sumptuous lunch prepared by a renown executive chef. To sway the Court, the Face of Everyman had a few bottles of his best single malt Scotch and a box of fine Cuban cigars placed on a nearby tea cart. The case was dismissed without prejudice.
Fusion
On quiet mornings poolside at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa, before the Cabana boys had set out the chairs, the Face of Everyman liked to snap his fingers and watch isotopes of hydrogen collide. The resulting plasma warmed his stone cold Danish and lukewarm Coffee.
Talk?
Theirs was the silent marriage of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Each used passive aggressive techniques in what little communications they had. the Face of Everyman could stand it no longer. At last he said, “Can we talk?”
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