Golf Courses

Duffer and Mulligan came from the Municipal Golf Course marsh to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa on the pretext of looking for orange golf balls.  Their hopes for a creating a tournament golf course in this magical land were dashed when the Face of Everyman assured them that two such courses already existed; one designed by Arnold Palmer and, of course, the crown jewel of the Pacific Flyway, St. Andy, designed by Old Tom Morris.


Off season S. Claus leased the meadow adjacent to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to provide browse for his herds of ruminants. This winter, snow covered the lush grasses.  the Face of Everyman took this in to account and waived the usual higher grazing fees imposed if the deer wandered off lease.  After all, Mr. Claus kept a list of who was naughty and who was nice.


the Face of Everyman felt as tho’ he were in a Shakespearean play.  Treachery seemed everywhere.  Alas, to sleep, perchance to dream . . .  Roving bandits seemed to control the entire Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  If only Batman and Robin hadn’t retired.  The venerable sage deeply regretted yard-selling the search light used to summon the dynamic duo.

On Thin Air

A rare phenomenon illustrates how cold it at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  It is so cold that the Towhee slipped on thin air.  the Face of Everyman tried to calculate the odds of this event being caught on camera.  The American Robin and White-crowned Sparrow are eye witnesses and think of it as a spiritual event.  A sign perhaps.

Boy Scout Saves Rock

Ellison knew that he had but a few precious moments to spare if he had any hope in resuscitating the Face of Everyman.  Using techniques that he had learned in Boy Scout Troop 108 of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa he hoped to breath life back into the venerable sage.  Ellison watched closely.  At last there was a flickering eye lid followed by a wheeze and a cough.  Once again the 4.5 billion year old artfully carved chunk of basalt had escaped the jaws of death.


Everywhere that Ozwald looked he saw that the Ice Walkers had been here and had moved on; perhaps North beyond the wall.  The entire landscape of the vast Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was covered in snow and ice.  Even ever indefatigable the Face of Everyman was locked in ice and appeared a goner. 

“Well, it’s been a quiet week in . . .”

Out along a remote part of the Pacific Flyway where the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa hosts a small variety of birds, bookings were off and Ball Room entertainment didn’t resume till after the Lunar New Year.  The casinos had grabbed up all the Top 40 names.  It was Sabeal who thought up the idea that all the Gals should start wearing their Spring colors and liven up the place.  All the Guys, including the Face of Everyman, grumbled and procrastinated for as long as possible.