State Fish and Wildlife inspectors were dumbfounded to realize that Rocky was actually washing his peanut butter sandwich. They replayed the footage of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa security camera again and again. It was the Face of Everyman who verified their findings. Orts had drifted his way and channeled his dreams into a series of gastronomic delights.
Trouble
Conspiracy theories are rampant in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Friends and family members are reluctant to be seen talking. Seen above, the twins Hobby and Bobby who converse only in the presence of the unimpeachable sage, the Face of Everyman. Will these troubling times ever end?
Eulogy
Father Robin gave an impromptu generic eulogy on behalf of the unknown pigeon whose precious life was cut short by the Hawk earlier this week. the Face of Everyman maintained a small slush fund to cover such contingencies as the two paid mourners and to provide a small honorarium for the good Father. Truly, the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa takes care of its own.
Sprouting
Cheeky was beside himself. Because of unseasonably warm temperatures here on the Pacific Flyway all of his carefully cached nuts were sprouting. He relied on these for food during the long cold dark months of Winter. After reviewing all options, the Face of Everyman agreed to make room in his pantry and storage locker at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa by shipping more truffles to exporters and corner the highly competitive off season market.
Ice Sculptures
Belinda and Ida Mae toured the Three Star Michelin restaurants poising for Ice Sculptures. They were in high demand by celebrity chefs. the Face of Everyman was pleased that they often made the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa their home away from home.
Philantropy
the Face of Everyman was intrigued when the Rockefeller twins, Landon and Brandon asked to borrow two Bitcoins in order to attend Philanthropy School here at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Asked why they needed to attend school on such a matter. Answer: “So we won’t give our money to rich people.” The venerable sage would think about it; long enough for them to forget that they had asked.
Usual Suspects
There were no eye witnesses to the slaughter of this poor pigeon. It is not an uncommon occurrence at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. In fact, their reduction in numbers had been chronicled by the Face of Everyman. His census reports indicate a high of twenty pigeons in the flock two months ago to a new low of five birds this past week. The venerable sage wrote a generic obituary to be published in the village newspaper. No memorial has been planned. Hawks were named as the usual suspects.
Free Range
The Food Bank at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had opened early to accommodate those headed to the nearby village to march in solidarity. Cheeky was always miffed when the free range moochers took advantage of such an opportunity and helped themselves. the Face of Everyman tried to explain that the food was meant guests of the resort. His words went unheeded.
Watchwords
the Face of Everyman viewed with alarm the pugilistic stance that Battling Billy seemed to have chosen. Was the venerable sage in any danger? Probably not, but civility and decorum were watchwords not buzzwords at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.
Deus ex machina
Many wonders occur at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Seen above, as caught on a high tech security camera, a hand reaches down and re-positions the Face of Everyman. Was it a merciful act by the kindly ol’ pensioner? Or just a bit of theater?
torkelsbirds 