Farnsworth wanted desperately to attend the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Montetorkie School. the Face of Everyman tried to explain he was too large to be among the small song birds as a student; but, he could take the correspondence courses that the venerable sage had prepared. Farnsworth decried that idea. How was he to learn to read and write if he could not attend school? Everyman was left in a quandary.
Rumble
It seemed a typical Monday at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Montetorkie School. Once more the custodian had forgotten the keys to the Athletic Gear Locker. This meant no hoops, no roller skates and more importantly no teether ball. The school yard championship was at stake. “Killer” Jones and ‘Take No Hostages” Smith would have to wait till tomorrow for their championship duel. the Face of Everyman had alerted the Boys Vice-principal to be alert for trouble. 
Apathetic
By dawn an apathetic crowd of free loaders gathered. Their numbers having increased over the weeks to eleven. the Face of Everyman tried to get a responsible member to call 119 for the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Rescue Team. For him to remain twisted and displaced was an act of impropriety. They left when they learned that Brunch wasn’t till 10:30. The venerable sage swallowed his pride and tried to jiggle himself to his normal resting place. 
Summer Stock
The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa summer stock theater was enjoying a good following. This week the Face of Everyman had chosen to reprise “Our American Cousins.” All was going well until some fool fired a few shots, jumped on to the stage breaking his leg. In a rage he decried the high costs of Lattes; muttered some obscure Latin phrase, then fled. After a brief intermission the play resumed. Luckily the rain held off till the third standing ovation.
Solar Powered
the Face of Everyman was on the verge of announcing his new Solar Powered Dove. The venerable sage had been working on this new development in his secret workshop deep beneath the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. While Boris was recharging his batteries, Everyman was passing out his latest prospectus and talking IPO to the crowd of wealthy guests.
Drought
There seemed no end to problems the Face of Everyman was forced to deal with. Today Henrietta breathlessly telling the venerable sage that the Honeysuckle vine was drying up was a good example. Now he’d have to stop texting his new Italian girl friend in Mount Etna and have Grounds Keeping start watering the flowering vines more often.
Sunglasses
Accidents seldom occur but when Mrs Murphy left the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Eye Clinic; her new Trifocal Readers caused her to mis-step. the Face of Everyman had warned her about her choices; she should have gotten the sunglasses for outside wear.
Panther
Once again, Panther had broken her parole by entering the vast grounds of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. The six month moratorium banning her from trespass had not expired. the Face of Everyman admonished her that the next step would be a bell around her neck. (Previous electronic ankle monitors had proved useless.) 
Prostheses
Hoppin’ John paid a recent visit to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. He was the national spokesperson for folks with peg legs. Much of the time he didn’t wear his prosthesis; he deemed it too heavy and it caused him to fly in circles. the Face of Everyman assured him that a team of engineers were working on a feather-lite Carbon Fiber prosthetic. John could be wearing a test model as soon as next week.
Toupee
Male Pattern Baldness has always been a taboo subject in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. That is, until the Face of Everyman formed a MPB Support Group. It’s numbers grew slowly. Now some of the founding members have gone on to National Headquarters. The venerable sage felt good about this achievement. On Trash Day he threw out his toupee.
torkelsbirds 