Early attempts by the Face of Everyman to accelerate an object to the speed of light showed promise. Seen above is his highly compensated lab assistant, Igor performing as a test subject. Telemetry data revealed that only Igor’s wing tips and beak neared the test objectives. The entire staff of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa awaited the return of this brave avian pioneer.
Jumping Jacks
Arnold was in training for the Jack LaLane look alike contest to be held at Muscle Beach here at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. the Face of Everyman agreed to count Arnold’s jumping jacks but gave up around one hundred thousand. There seemed no point in continuing.
Army Reunion
the Face of Everyman had thoughts of getting out of the catering business at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. For this Army Buddies reunion he had watered down the drinks and added more junk food to the serving line; but as soon as the brandy and cigars were passed out, the fights began. The venerable sage needed a better plan to prevent next year’s Donnybrook.
Sunscreen
The village newspaper reported that today’s noontime UV rating for the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa would be One. Never-the-less Johnny Dark Eyes made sure that his beak was slathered in sunscreen; his preferred SPF 60, of course. the Face of Everyman tried not to smirk at this over abundance of caution.
Prerogative
Once again tempers flared over a perceived sense of entitlement. Should the Spotted Towhee go first because he nested on the ground and probably was dirtier? And should the White-crowned Sparrow go next as he built his nest just a few feet above ground? Lastly should pushy immigrants, the House Sparrow, no better than English Starlings, be allowed to stare down decent common folks? the Face of Everyman held his tongue but resorted to his mind control abilities to plant in the mind of each guest that the the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was a sanctuary for all and trivial attitudes should be left at the boundary.
Flu Season
A touch of something was going around. Here and there among the folks at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa sore throats and that achy feeling were common complaints to the Face of Everyman. The venerable sage would prescribe finding a nice warm roost and gargling with nectar from the Honey Suckle vine. If the case was serious; a small vial of absinthe was dispensed. A co-payment was never requested.
Family Reunion
the Face of Everyman catered most family reunions held at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. He disliked catering this crowd. They had no sense of decorum. Alas, the Tuna dip, Cheese sticks and the Cucumber sandwiches were devoured in a flash. One of the kids put three mini-pizzas under his wing for later. The venerable sage vowed not to watch this sort of “carnage” ever again.
Drones
The New Year brought with it wage negotiation time at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. It was difficult for the Face of Everyman to keep track of all the temps who often left during the winter months for gigs down in Mexico. Seen above is Jean-Luc asking for a full time position and more benefits. The venerable sage wasn’t sure that this guy was on the pay roll; and besides his Green Card said Organ Tuner. However, there was an opening for Drone repairman for which, with his flying skills, he seemed suitable enough.
Hysteria
Social media in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was flooded with reports of an escaped Bengal Tiger. the Face of Everyman was able to calm the hysteria by pointing out that an out of focus image of a staff member stringing lights for the New Years Eve Celebration was no cause for alarm. Happy New Years to the 58 followers of this blog.
torkelsbirds 