The colorful multi-lingual handbills tacked up at feeding stations along the flyway described the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa with glowing words. Many were merely buzz words: paradise, organic forage, remote, banana-belt, safe surroundings. Dante was tired of his hand-to-mouth existence; it was time to settle down. the Face of Everyman pointed out a few mature trees that still had spacious rooms at the mid-level branches. Further, confided the venerable sage, Cherry picking season was soon and primo Sunflowers seeds could be expected in the Fall.
Tequilla Surprise
What had started as the annual Tequilla Taste and Naming Festival at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa, got out of hand about the third flight. the Face of Everyman sought opinions of his home brew Tequilla and often accepted suggestions as to a suitable name for his product if bottled and sold. Poor Rodney had no idea that he was allergic to Mexican Sunshine. He remained overnight at the Clinic for observation. All agreed that this production run should be labeled “Buckeroo”. The venerable sage sold out by sundown.
Dating
Jackie sensed that eDating had made a grievous error. Her understanding: lunch with Handsome Ransom at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. She had specifically checked “No Speed Dating” on her free trial application. Bashful Bobby would just have to re-book. the Face of Everyman offered a possible solution. Why not a half Vegan Cobb salad with Ransom and later, the Chef’s renown Sachertorte with Bobby?
Posed
Birdwatchers always became excited to see uniquely marked species. After months in Talk Therapy Nigel was able to shrug off previous critical and derisive comments by onlookers. Here at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa guests liked to ID him as “Butter Butt”. Now he found the courage to pose for the crowds. He perfected a grin and when asked, he joined selfies. He had “grown” into his appearance. the Face of Everyman commented favorably to Nigel on his new maturity.
Bottoms United
Johnny Dark Eyes has returned to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa after two weeks at “Y” Soccer Camp. He looks Buff. He brought home boxes of new shirts for friends with the logo, “Bottoms United”. the Face of Everyman noted other subtle changes. Johnny now says things like: “No worries, Mate” and “Football pitch”. Stranger yet, while standing, he balances his lunch plate off of his knees and passes the salt & pepper with a head butt.
Earth Day
It was Earth Day at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Once again that old mountebank Robespierre had slipped past security forces disguised as an Earth Loving parade marcher. Later he would mix among the crowd and offer an opportunity to buy shares in a corporation that would pay companies not to pollute these sacred waters. The hard working folks hereabouts were enthusiastic and eager to subscribe. Luckily the Face of Everyman recognized the familiar patter of this inveterate charlatan and “dropped a dime on” him.
Quasimodo
Quasimodo, now a penniless elderly recluse, was force to live at the Alms House in a remote section of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. He continued to search for the unmarked grave of his lost love, the Gypsy girl, who had reportedly fled Paris for this untroubled spot on the Pacific flyway. the Face of Everyman spent years trying to dispel this preposterous story.
Parasitic Birds
Each Spring at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa appear two classes of birds: the parasitic Brown-headed Cowbird and unsuspecting honest tax paying Warbler. Seen above on security camera footage are Sonny and Madge; prolific Cowbirds. They’re watching to see where a Warbler couple will nest. At each established nest, Madge will leave one or more of her eggs. Unsuspecting Warblers will raise the oversized Cowbird hatchling often at the expense of their own offspring. the Face of Everyman had circulated a petition against such unconscionable activity; but had failed to get the necessary signatures. He pondered mass tort litigation.
Halcyon Days
The posh travel magazines and Sunday supplements had all devoted pages to the wonders of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Bookings approached records from those halcyon days when Scott and Zelda held sway in the lounge. So it was much more than idle curiosity that caused Terwillinger to divert his flight to inspect close at hand this mythical paradise. Luckily the Face of Everyman recognized this reclusive celebrity and could chat him up as an old friend.
Fashion
The posh shops that lined the arcade entrance to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa were having pre-holiday sales. Fitzhugh asked the haberdasher if he could see the bold cravat in the Sun light. While, in reality, he sought the opinion of the Face of Everyman. The color was so bright that the venerable sage was forced to close one eye. F took that as a wink of approval.
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