Complaints had reached city hall that the kindly ol’ pensioner was, once again, cutting corners on service by serving dreck. But, of course, who was dispatched to sample the service at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa and to right this terrible wrong? None other than “Road Kill” McGillicutty, of the local Carrion Club. RK always got a light buzz on soggy fermented corn and sunflower seeds. The posh resort retained it’s three star ranking despite the vehement protests of the Face of Everyman.
Nazca Lines
As a celebration of Spring the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa put on a spectacular light show. As always the famous Juan d’Oro would perform his signature act he had perfected while discovering his roots. Juan’s linage harkened back to the famous Nazca Lines. Eons ago an image of his forefathers had been traced in stone on a remote mountain top in Peru. While there, Juan, under the influence of Ayahuasca, learned the secrets of turning Golden at will. the Face of Everyman felt a little jealous.
Boris
The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had long been a popular training site for Olympic athletes. Seen above is Boris a world class weightlifter and best choice to take Gold during the games. Poor ol’ the Face of Everyman; he was always uncomfortable around these bulked up competitors.
Plumage
Fregley was very pleased with his newly patented innovation: DIY mating plumage. He waited for his buddy Ralph at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa; together they could troll for “chicks”. Fregley knew his concoction wasn’t perfect; just a mixture of gun oil and lamp black. But when applied lightly … In dim light he looked all grown up. the Face of Everyman suggested that Fregley add just a hint of Bay Rum or Lilac water. Couldn’t hurt.
Chefs
An episode of the third season of the popular BBC cooking show was to be taped at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Two celebrated English chefs: Leslie and Cyril announced that they would prepare an authentic dish from the American South: Brunswick stew. As if a body of one, the onlookers and quests gasped! the Face of Everyman obscured in this clip, quickly informed this naive pair that traditional Brunswick stew was made from squirrel, raccoon or opossum. After a brief huddle, it was decided that Mac & Cheese was today’s authentic dish.
Twins
Whip Saw and Slab Jack were twins. A fact each resented. They fought and argued constantly; causing many guests to feel upset and distressed. Management at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa would have barred them from using the facilities except for the fact that they were regarded as foreigners and Corporate wanted to foster an image of inclusion, etc. the Face of Everyman calculated that after residing here for more than 60 generations these two rascals should have learned some manners; or at least gone their separate ways. And was there really a Starling Anti-defamation League?
Yellow Peril
Leslie was the Advance Man for the famous rock group Yellow Peril. They were on their third final world tour. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa is where the band first got together. Back then, they were just a rag tag bunch of Cabana Boys trying to make their mark in a field already glutted with wannabes. the Face of Everyman shuddered when he realized the nightly cacophony he would have to endure during their booking.
Frida
Little Frida wanted desperately to start school at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. She had a difficult time understanding the concept that the Montetorkie school was closed for Spring Break. the Face of Everyman suggested that she return in two weeks. However, the venerable sage did offer to tutor young Frida for a small honorarium.
Keynote
The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was renown for the unique institutions that held their annual meetings at this posh venue. Seen above is the keynote speaker for this year’s meeting of Lost Celebrities and Unsolved Mysteries. The honorable Judge Francis Force Crater gave a splendid talk on what it means to be lost and forgotten. Of course, he was “preaching to the choir”. Barely seen, his head but a glimpse above the poolside rim, is Jimmy Hoffa. At the “meet & greet” before the banquet there was a plausible rumor that he may have been found and thus would have to forfeit his long held membership.
Harcourt
Harcourt owed everybody money at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. His visits were brief and unscheduled. Seen here on a survillance camera clip, he has his head down and misjudges the fact that he is exposed. Perhaps the Face of Everyman, in a prankish mood, schooched over a bit. Link leads off-site: https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Cedar_Waxwing/id
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