Webster suddenly realized that his wallet and wrist watch were missing.  This form of larceny was very uncommon at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa; but, could Johnny Dark Eyes be a pickpocket?   That warm embrace, that strong hand shake, the glib chatter about old times.  All very disarming.  Unfortunately, once again the Face of Everyman was napping and didn’t see or hear a thing.

Snow Removal

Johnny Dark Eyes was back at his old haunts, the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  He returned with his head filled with money making schemes.  This week he offered prepaid snow removal options for the coming El Nino/La Nina Winter.  the Face of Everyman was the first to decline this obvious swindle.  Even the kindly ol’ pensioner scoffed at Johnny’s proposal, then, on second thought, retired to the manor house to check the Old Farmer’s Almanac.




Johnny Dark Eyes and his cousin Melchior, signed up to become Vigilantes to replace the non-existent law enforcement in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa region.  Seen above in a security camera clip they are about to take down the Golden Crowned Sparrow, a notorious scofflaw with over two hundred unpaid parking tickets in this jurisdiction alone.  the Face of Everyman remained mute as he is often wont to do.

Cracked Corn

Johnny Dark Eyes’ family had the Cracked Corn Clean Up concession at the Foggy Bottom Resort and Spa for generations.  Now it seems that the contract had reverted to the Face of Everyman after three nights of failure to clean up the detritus following the late night movies.  “JDE” begged for a second chance.  He was working three jobs and some nights he was just too tired.  Everyman relented when he understood that the little bird was putting two kids through college and had his Mom in a senior care home.  “E” thought of it as paying it forward.

Avian Deity

Clean up crews at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa uncovered what was thought to be an idol to an ancient avian deity.  Ludicrously Johnny Dark Eyes thought that he bore a close resemblance.  the Face of Everyman was quick to point out that the rusty iron relic was really part of an early Cecil B. Demille silent film epic .  “J” was not to be dissuaded.

Baby Huey

Johnny Dark Eyes was released from two weeks quarantine and incarceration at the village pet store.  He returned to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to discover he was the proud father of a Brown Headed Cow Bird.   the Face of Everyman suggested that J join a local support group on the “Love, Care and Feeding of Parasitic Foster Hatchlings”.  As a typical rogue and scofflaw he approached parenting head on …  “Boy could Baby Huey put away the chow!”


Johnny Dark Eyes remained free while on appeal.  He had told the Judge that he was a member of the Arctic Club and was to appear in several frigid water swimming events at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  At liberty for the moment Johnny was terrified of the chilling water.  The Judge was to witness one event but Johnny was paralyzed with fear.  That is, until the Face of Everyman whispered, “Not to worry.  The pool is heated.” “Jump!”