This week, to avoid paying her lodging and spa fees at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa, Anastasia claimed to be Caledonia, Queen of a lost tribe of Scots and hadn’t run up those charges. the Face of Everyman had her Pinkerton Agency dossier and knew for a fact that she had been hatched in a dovecote in Hoboken, New Jersey. Fantasy didn’t pay the rent.
Quiz Show
The famous quiz show, Jeopardy, is coming to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Seen above is Johnny Dark Eyes quizzing the Face of Everyman with practice questions. The venerable sage seems to be drawing a blank on many questions in the very categories he should know. Are the Gods trying to humble the world’s oldest citizen?
Prix Fixe Dinner
the Face of Everyman was unsure what to do. He had sold all Prix Fixe dinner tickets for the Valentines Day gala in the ballroom of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Yet here was a thug demanding that he find one more table for this evening’s festivities. Luckily, the venerable sage had one thing in his favor: Many couples argue on this day and cancel or fail to appear. With a smile, Everyman was able to graciously oblige.
New Guest
the Face of Everyman tried to place the accent in the speech of the new guest. All were welcome at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa but the venerable sage prided himself on knowing and placing every accent, no matter how and where guests learned their song. He would have to bide his time on this newcomer.
800 Pound Gorilla
the Face of Everyman agreed to officiate at several sessions of couples therapy; trouble was, that the couple brought their “800 pound Gorilla” to every session. When the problem became obvious; the venerable sage suggested that the miserable couple try the therapist in the village. After all the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa wanted to maintain it’s reputation for being a place for happy song birds.
‘Bucko’ Billy
A dis-masted vessel, battered by winter storms, sought refuge at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Much to the surprise of the Face of Everyman ‘Bucko’ Billy Gordon , Mate of the Hell Ship Merriweather, hopped ashore. He asked for a pint of rum and directions to where his Mother was roosting.
Suet
Camilla was clear in her demands for a better quality of suet. the Face of Everyman protested that he was but the middleman representing the good folks at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa and that he would address this issue with the kindly ol’ pensioner. Truth be told; Everyman was so over budget on bird seed and suet that he’d have to carry deficits clear into the third quarter.
Golf Courses
Duffer and Mulligan came from the Municipal Golf Course marsh to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa on the pretext of looking for orange golf balls. Their hopes for a creating a tournament golf course in this magical land were dashed when the Face of Everyman assured them that two such courses already existed; one designed by Arnold Palmer and, of course, the crown jewel of the Pacific Flyway, St. Andy, designed by Old Tom Morris.
A Round of Robins
The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa hosts a speaker’s club. Weekly, after lunch, speeches are given on a topic assigned the previous week. Today no one was prepared. Everybody wanted to tell the Face of Everyman how much the snow had prevented them from getting even one single idea down on paper. The meeting was chaotic. Robert’s Rules of Order didn’t address a Round of Robins.
Ruminants
Off season S. Claus leased the meadow adjacent to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to provide browse for his herds of ruminants. This winter, snow covered the lush grasses. the Face of Everyman took this in to account and waived the usual higher grazing fees imposed if the deer wandered off lease. After all, Mr. Claus kept a list of who was naughty and who was nice.
torkelsbirds 