With the election results for most races in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa almost assured; conspiracy theories grew in astounding numbers. Even the Face of Everyman could not quell the absurd ones fast enough with facts or counter theories. By Sunday noon he was too exhausted to think; hopefully a nap would help.
Bean Counter
Once again the Face of Everyman had been late submitting his quarterly reports to Foggy Bottoms Corporate. When his financials started showing creative accounting they sent a rather stern Bean Counter to discuss the matter. The venerable sage would not be given a second chance. “Shape up, or ship out.” Was his parting comment.
Vows
Ordinarily newly weds drank from a silver chalice as the Face of Everyman concluded the ceremony. However this day the venerable sage had loaned the sacred cup to the Soccer coach to present to the winning team in the match between Foggy Bottoms United and the Village F C. The young couple were too in love to notice that their vows were sealed with something akin to swamp water.
Guilty?
The kindly ol’ pensioner had pleaded not guilty to the charges of feeding wild life without a permit. The DA called into evidence his first photo. the Face of Everyman halted the proceedings and asked for a change of venue: no human could get a fair trial in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Before the Judge could respond, the plaintive asked to have his plea changed to: nolo contendere. A new trial date was set for sometime in February.
Circus Folks
The circus was setting up Winter quarters in the meadow. An advance-man came over to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to re-establish the bonds between the circus people and the Face of Everyman. The venerable sage looked forward to booking some clowns and acrobats for lunch time entertainment.
Bad Dream
The polls closed early at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. the Face of Everyman relied on runners bringing constant updates on key races. Seats on the School Board were up for grabs; write in candidates created the most chaos. Front runners had seldom gone beyond the first grade. Even graduating from the Montietorkie School did not ensure good governance. The school bonds were going down in utter defeat. To the venerable sage this all seemed a bad dream.
Protection
the Face of Everyman sensed a tirade coming as Black Bart alighted in his front office. But no, he was here for his protection money due him for driving off hawks from the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa during the month of October. By written affidavit, this raucous unprincipled tough guy swore that he had driven off three raptors in the past month. The venerable sage paid up: several bit coin and half a sack of corn. Such protection was worth every penny. 
Bucko Billy
A cold shiver ran thru the Face of Everyman when he realized that behind him was Bucko Billy Robinson, First Mate on the hell ship HMS Dracula. What could he be doing here in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa? Had he, at last, hunted down the venerable sage who jumped ship in Port Alberni? Turns out this bully had bought into the local retirement assisted living condos. They were to be neighbors; maybe even friends.
Gulls
the Face of Everyman could almost set his watch by the return of Gulls and their food source, the Surf Smelt, to the nutrient rich waters of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. However it was this moment, frozen in time, when Eve suggests that Adam take a bite of the apple. 
Barn Dance
Frisco Bob stopped to remind the Face of Everyman about the Halloween Barn Dance at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Grange. Fisco had assembled a Square Dance Caller and a couple of Fiddle players. Folks were asked to bring a covered dish and there would be bobbing for apples. “Who doesn’t like apples?” Frisco asked rhetorically. Off-highhandedly Bob reminded the venerable sage that he could bring a date. 
torkelsbirds 