Time and again guests at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had been asked not to feed the Sea Birds. They were predacious and threatened everyone in the sanctuary. A mere french fry carelessly discarded was enough to attract their attention. the Face of Everyman was unnaturally frightened of these creatures even though he himself possessed a Mohs hardness of Six. He was on the verge of trembling but he knew not to show fear in their presence.
Mushrooms
the Face of Everyman suspected that Benji had gotten hold of some exotic mushrooms, or, more likely, stale peanuts. In a wide-eyed ghoulish state he kept trying to push off the Olympic size pool at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa as if it were a row boat. The venerable sage attempted to thwart Benji’s efforts with all the magnetic power at his disposal. After all, he didn’t want to be found on some far off tropical island bobbing face down in the surf.
Lock Down
Cletis had received his concealed carry permit and as anyone with the mind of a fourteen year old he wanted to impress the Face of Everyman with his quick draw skills. One thing led to another and the young lad had fanned off six rounds in the blink of an eye. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa remained on lock down until Tuesday after lunch.
Newsletter
Pastor Bob’s February Newsletter came out today showing the brave Shepard leading members his flock to the safety of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. There is no mention of the Face of Everyman who nearly suffocated beneath the snow until rescued, some say, by passing ice skaters.
Nesting Mom
Irene had been assigned remedial flying lessons by the Headmaster of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Montietorkie School. the Face of Everyman knew what was going through the poor girls mind: She really didn’t need to know how to fly all that well. She was going to be a stay at home Mom. She looked forward to caring for four or five broods a year. All she needed now was a good provider.
Hercules
Once again, inexplicably, the Early Warning Klaxon had failed to warn of an intruder entering the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. As the Face of Everyman slowly came out of his REM stage sleep he was able to comprehend what this semi-feral feline wanted. Somewhere Hercules had heard that one needed to apply for a Songbird Hunting License before one could legally take a bird. The venerable sage assured him that the the Resort was now a sanctuary with laws against hunting anything. The big cat left unhappy and unfulfilled; you knew he’d be back.
Blood Sport
The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had an official Anger Management Clinic. the Face of Everyman was concerned at the poor success rate. Clients came angry and left just as angry. Renegade boxing promoters often tried to recruit these tiny packages of pugilistic dynamite to fulfill their evil schemes in that ancient and barbaric sport.
Peekaboo
the Face of Everyman’s whole being shuddered as he was awakened by Reggie playing peekaboo. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa Montetorkie School’s “head start” program that encouraged interaction among all beings. The venerable sage was determined to have his class of being removed from the list. No artfully carved chunk of basalt should ever have to suffer the indignity of having cold wet claws covering his eyes. Where were the parents when this sort of thing happened? Probably playing bingo in the Casino.
Hellespont
Auditions for the role of Leander in the classical play required the protagonist to swim the waters of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. the Face of Everyman explained, almost in vain, that these waters represented Hellespont, a key element in this epic story of two lovers. Seen above, a timid thespian wannabe tests the waters at every reading. In the end, the venerable sage re-cast some in “Death of a Salesman”, and give up on the idea of directing Summer Stock Theater.
Deluge
As the rain began in plop drops Armbrewster casually commented that he hopped that it wouldn’t rain a deluge causing him to miss lunch. The blue plate special served at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was renown hereabouts. the Face of Everyman could only smile. Mere words can not describe the downpours he had seen since the parting of the supercontent Pangaea.
torkelsbirds 