Huckster

Fernley was a born huckster.  During the week he would collect items, found objects, and peddle them to guests at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  Seen above in security camera file footage F is trying to convince the Face of Everyman that the beer can pull tab he offers is from an authentic Billy Carter can of beer.  The venerable sage wasn’t falling for that line of baloney and asked for a certificate of provenance.  Fernley quickly switched gears and offered a rusty skate key at fire sale prices.

Contest

The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa village newspaper was offering a prize for the best essay on What Father’s Day Means To Me.  A few of the guys thought that if they brain stormed as a group they could come up with the prize winning essay.  the Face of Everyman was bemused.  Judging by the paucity of fledglings anywhere about; these bozos hadn’t a clue.

Thespians

Whitey, The Bard was casting for his Summer Theater in the Park to be staged in the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  He looked up when a voice asked if he was seeking experienced thespians.  The funny looking polka dotted stranger had a foreign accent but could sure spout lines from Shakespear and assured W that he had a vast repertoire that he could call upon at will; casually mentioning the name of repertory theater that sounded vaguely familiar.  the Face of Everyman tried to signal The Bard that this fellow would be more trouble than he was worth.  In the end, the stranger flew off.  Peace and good fellowship once again reigned over this magical setting.

Sacheverell

Sacheverell stopped by the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to share his good news with the Face of Everyman.  A large insurance company had chosen S to be their national spokesperson and new corporate image.  It was a ten year contract and required him to maintain his buff body and suave looks.  His antlers were to be insured by Lloyds of London for an undisclosed amount in the event they became unsymmetrical or damaged in such a way as to prohibit public appearances.  He was going to miss those dog tossing exhibitions at the county fair; but now his face was his fortune.  C’est la vie.

Porter

Porter had been up all night guarding the nest that was skillfully hidden near the boundaries of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Now it was time to search for breakfast.  Little did Porter know that the Face of Everyman had asked a cousin from Easter Island (figure asleep in background) to assist in the vigil.  The venerable sage believed in keeping families safe.

Gold

Newton was starting to make a pest of himself with his questions about the popular myth that the Face of Everyman knew the location of the fabled Philosopher’s stone.  The venerable sage did indeed possess the skills to transmute base metals into gold but he wasn’t about to share the secret with some simple minded guest at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  Besides, his next batch of bullion wasn’t ready.  Hopefully the precious metals market wouldn’t peak before hand.

Caustic

Meryl and Beryl the Gemstone twins had been home schooled and were visiting the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa for the first time.  They were critical to the Nth degree.   the Face of Everyman had been enjoying the sweet fragrance of the Honey Suckle flower when voices behind him spoke in caustic tones.  “Look at that floating garbage”.  “Is this water safe for swimming?”   Rather than respond to defend this posh spa; the venerable sage remained mute a he is sometimes wont to do.