Everyday of his life Battling Eddie had fought his inner demons. Somehow he was tolerated by those at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. For several years the Face of Everyman had tried to help Eddie with his problem; but to no avail. At long last, the Earnest Hemingway biographies were removed from the resort library and the poolside area designated a “No Violence” zone.
Scallywag
Scallywags had slipped through the impenetrable barrier surrounding the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Top security forces were called to the scene. Profilers examined every frame of footage for clues to the intent of the perpetrators. the Face of Everyman was subject to intense interrogation. He was a rock; he never cracked and maintains his innocence to this day. The case was closed before guests appeared poolside for their morning dip. The lead investigator noticed the wildflowers in the beak of the art piece. She deemed an offering; a symbol of peace. The kindly ol’ pensioner was pleased with the quick results. An air of calm returned to that bucolic setting.
The Vapors
Ms Pitty Pat had a touch of the vapors. When she was a War Pigeon in WW II she wore a small capsule containing secret messages strapped to her leg. Her job; get those messages thru to HQ. She now lived in retirement at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Because she was well up in years she needed a bit of a stimulant every once in awhile. These days Ms P carried smelling salts in that capsule. One whiff and she was as good as new. the Face of Everyman wished her “Good Luck” in this afternoon’s qualifying Special Olympics Wheel Chair races. She often sported her winning gold medal from last year.
Ambergris
the Face of Everyman had received an express shipment of Ambergris from an old friend at the Arctic whaling station. In his laboratory he created irresistible fragrances to be sold to exclusive clients in the arcade shopping entrance to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. A select group of mature Does were his best sniff testers. Yet, often they were his harshest critics. “Did you burn this batch?” “Don’t you have something with a hint of lemon? Musk at least.” “I ain’t putting no whale b**f on me, anywhere!”
Men’s Club
Attendance at the Men’s Athletic Club of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa dropped off sharply with the hot weather and pressures from family members to spend more time with them at the Putt-Putt Golf Course and Devil’s Corkscrew Water Park. At first there didn’t seem to be a quorum to allow voting for suspension of meetings until next Spring. As it turned out the Face of Everyman held the proxy votes of several hundred paid up club members. The vote to suspend: Unanimous.
Marriage Broker
the Face of Everyman wasn’t sure he could broker a marriage this late in the season; but his client was despairing of leaving this vale of tears without ever knowing marital bless. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had shuttered the Wedding Garden leaving only the Elvis Chapel equipped for impromptu ceremonies. Carlisle was more than willing to sign a 30 day short form brokerage agreement with the price left blank for the moment. The venerable sage knew it was time to put the emergency phone-tree into action. He seldom let any fee slip through grasp.
Swiss Clinic
Few locals were aware of a clandestine Swiss Clinic operating at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Celebrities who needed assurances of total anonymity and absolute privacy came here to be treated under the watchful eyes of the Face of Everyman. Seen above on carefully redacted security footage is the latest patient to seek help. Formally a popular child star in films with a bright future this guest sought help to correct a cruel inherited defect, the dreaded and unsightly Habsburg pedicle. He left, confident that he could start shooting on the new script within weeks.
Baden-Baden
the Face of Everyman deliberately set aside Friday afternoons for walk in auditions on the theory that only dedicated young talent would show. Seen above, an unknown but accomplished ballerina tries out for a part in the upcoming winters performance of Swan Lake. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was creating new buzz amongst the crowd that usually spent high season at Baden-Baden.
Fishing
Rocky enjoyed fishing. He was naive when it came to believing others that the golden Koi were yet to be found in the waters of the Foggy Bottom Resort and Spa. By the dim light of the waning crescent moon he groped deeper into the murky depths, hoping to not awaken the Face of Everyman. He could be a real grouch …
Deception
Madge kept a watchful eye out for prospective hosts who would give her eggs a good home and proper rearing. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was an ideal location for such encounters. She honestly tried to be fair about imposing her eggs and brood on unsuspecting young Moms of other breeds whose instincts told them that any egg in their nest was to become a hatchling to be loved. the Face of Everyman tried to adopt a broader and more worldly view of such unconscionable deception.
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