Each Spring at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa appear two classes of birds: the parasitic Brown-headed Cowbird and unsuspecting honest tax paying Warbler. Seen above on security camera footage are Sonny and Madge; prolific Cowbirds. They’re watching to see where a Warbler couple will nest. At each established nest, Madge will leave one or more of her eggs. Unsuspecting Warblers will raise the oversized Cowbird hatchling often at the expense of their own offspring. the Face of Everyman had circulated a petition against such unconscionable activity; but had failed to get the necessary signatures. He pondered mass tort litigation.
Halcyon Days
The posh travel magazines and Sunday supplements had all devoted pages to the wonders of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Bookings approached records from those halcyon days when Scott and Zelda held sway in the lounge. So it was much more than idle curiosity that caused Terwillinger to divert his flight to inspect close at hand this mythical paradise. Luckily the Face of Everyman recognized this reclusive celebrity and could chat him up as an old friend.
Fashion
The posh shops that lined the arcade entrance to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa were having pre-holiday sales. Fitzhugh asked the haberdasher if he could see the bold cravat in the Sun light. While, in reality, he sought the opinion of the Face of Everyman. The color was so bright that the venerable sage was forced to close one eye. F took that as a wink of approval.
Dreck
Complaints had reached city hall that the kindly ol’ pensioner was, once again, cutting corners on service by serving dreck. But, of course, who was dispatched to sample the service at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa and to right this terrible wrong? None other than “Road Kill” McGillicutty, of the local Carrion Club. RK always got a light buzz on soggy fermented corn and sunflower seeds. The posh resort retained it’s three star ranking despite the vehement protests of the Face of Everyman.
Nazca Lines
As a celebration of Spring the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa put on a spectacular light show. As always the famous Juan d’Oro would perform his signature act he had perfected while discovering his roots. Juan’s linage harkened back to the famous Nazca Lines. Eons ago an image of his forefathers had been traced in stone on a remote mountain top in Peru. While there, Juan, under the influence of Ayahuasca, learned the secrets of turning Golden at will. the Face of Everyman felt a little jealous.
Boris
The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had long been a popular training site for Olympic athletes. Seen above is Boris a world class weightlifter and best choice to take Gold during the games. Poor ol’ the Face of Everyman; he was always uncomfortable around these bulked up competitors.
Plumage
Fregley was very pleased with his newly patented innovation: DIY mating plumage. He waited for his buddy Ralph at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa; together they could troll for “chicks”. Fregley knew his concoction wasn’t perfect; just a mixture of gun oil and lamp black. But when applied lightly … In dim light he looked all grown up. the Face of Everyman suggested that Fregley add just a hint of Bay Rum or Lilac water. Couldn’t hurt.
Chefs
An episode of the third season of the popular BBC cooking show was to be taped at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Two celebrated English chefs: Leslie and Cyril announced that they would prepare an authentic dish from the American South: Brunswick stew. As if a body of one, the onlookers and quests gasped! the Face of Everyman obscured in this clip, quickly informed this naive pair that traditional Brunswick stew was made from squirrel, raccoon or opossum. After a brief huddle, it was decided that Mac & Cheese was today’s authentic dish.
Twins
Whip Saw and Slab Jack were twins. A fact each resented. They fought and argued constantly; causing many guests to feel upset and distressed. Management at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa would have barred them from using the facilities except for the fact that they were regarded as foreigners and Corporate wanted to foster an image of inclusion, etc. the Face of Everyman calculated that after residing here for more than 60 generations these two rascals should have learned some manners; or at least gone their separate ways. And was there really a Starling Anti-defamation League?
Yellow Peril
Leslie was the Advance Man for the famous rock group Yellow Peril. They were on their third final world tour. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa is where the band first got together. Back then, they were just a rag tag bunch of Cabana Boys trying to make their mark in a field already glutted with wannabes. the Face of Everyman shuddered when he realized the nightly cacophony he would have to endure during their booking.
torkelsbirds 