Pokey was new on the delivery route to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. The draw bridge had been down when he arrived burdened with the usual junk mail for the Face of Everyman. Now what? Was this some kind joke? Turns out, that while chatting with the venerable sage, the bridge had been removed for the annual safety inspection. “Not to worry”, said E. “I’ll call the helicopter rescue team.” Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night . . .
Hangman
Once a year, down at the rock quarry, the Face of Everyman joined the remaining members of his old Civil Defense Fire Brigade. Someone’s guest brought enough Okolehao to float the RMS Titanic. Unlikely stories were retold and high old times were relived till the moon was about to set. Everyman made it home to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa, but had troubling dreams. He awoke with a start. The menacing image of a Hangman above his groggy head. Henceforth, he vowed, to stick to Peppermint Schnapps.
Jackdaw
Jackdaw had been born with an extremely rare condition; best described as alternating lazy eye. The modest clinic at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was without resources to correct this abnormality. J’s parents became resigned and were about to move to a safer location. While deep in transcendental meditation the Face of Everyman envisioned small eye-glasses with kaleidoscope lenses. Within hours he had dashed off a learned paper for presentation at the annual eye wear congress in Stockholm and contracted with B & L to fabricate a series of prototypes. The young Crow went on to become a famous sideshow trick-shot artist. Detractors insist that he has an unfair advantage.
Mendicant
The colorful multi-lingual handbills tacked up at feeding stations along the flyway described the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa with glowing words. Many were merely buzz words: paradise, organic forage, remote, banana-belt, safe surroundings. Dante was tired of his hand-to-mouth existence; it was time to settle down. the Face of Everyman pointed out a few mature trees that still had spacious rooms at the mid-level branches. Further, confided the venerable sage, Cherry picking season was soon and primo Sunflowers seeds could be expected in the Fall.
Tequilla Surprise
What had started as the annual Tequilla Taste and Naming Festival at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa, got out of hand about the third flight. the Face of Everyman sought opinions of his home brew Tequilla and often accepted suggestions as to a suitable name for his product if bottled and sold. Poor Rodney had no idea that he was allergic to Mexican Sunshine. He remained overnight at the Clinic for observation. All agreed that this production run should be labeled “Buckeroo”. The venerable sage sold out by sundown.
Dating
Jackie sensed that eDating had made a grievous error. Her understanding: lunch with Handsome Ransom at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. She had specifically checked “No Speed Dating” on her free trial application. Bashful Bobby would just have to re-book. the Face of Everyman offered a possible solution. Why not a half Vegan Cobb salad with Ransom and later, the Chef’s renown Sachertorte with Bobby?
Posed
Birdwatchers always became excited to see uniquely marked species. After months in Talk Therapy Nigel was able to shrug off previous critical and derisive comments by onlookers. Here at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa guests liked to ID him as “Butter Butt”. Now he found the courage to pose for the crowds. He perfected a grin and when asked, he joined selfies. He had “grown” into his appearance. the Face of Everyman commented favorably to Nigel on his new maturity.
Bottoms United
Johnny Dark Eyes has returned to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa after two weeks at “Y” Soccer Camp. He looks Buff. He brought home boxes of new shirts for friends with the logo, “Bottoms United”. the Face of Everyman noted other subtle changes. Johnny now says things like: “No worries, Mate” and “Football pitch”. Stranger yet, while standing, he balances his lunch plate off of his knees and passes the salt & pepper with a head butt.
Earth Day
It was Earth Day at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Once again that old mountebank Robespierre had slipped past security forces disguised as an Earth Loving parade marcher. Later he would mix among the crowd and offer an opportunity to buy shares in a corporation that would pay companies not to pollute these sacred waters. The hard working folks hereabouts were enthusiastic and eager to subscribe. Luckily the Face of Everyman recognized the familiar patter of this inveterate charlatan and “dropped a dime on” him.
Quasimodo
Quasimodo, now a penniless elderly recluse, was force to live at the Alms House in a remote section of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. He continued to search for the unmarked grave of his lost love, the Gypsy girl, who had reportedly fled Paris for this untroubled spot on the Pacific flyway. the Face of Everyman spent years trying to dispel this preposterous story.
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