Mail Call

Just back from a big writer’s conference in San Francisco, Jethro inquired if the Face of Everyman had received his postcards.  Well, as it turns out, the postal zip code for the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa is often alphabetic not numeric.  Once a month someone brings over the stuff left over at the local Dead Letter Office.  “E” sorts thru the bundles and holds mail call for those still in residence.

Phalanx

Cheeky pretended to ignore the solid phalanx of songbirds advancing slowly towards his position.  Could a small group of rag tag sparrows defend their territory and food supply from this huge rodent?  He probably didn’t even like the stuff that came Oppenheimer’s Deluxe Patio Mix.  the Face of Everyman tried to put the kibosh every squabble at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  He enforced an eleventh hour treaty.

AAA Rating

The AAA rating team conducted a surprise visit to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa.  They started with the luncheon menu.  Things went down hill from there.  Large servings were used to mask the lack of variety.  No road kill and a complete disregard for patrons who might appreciate servings of pop corn or  french fries.  Try as he might the Face of Everyman could not find words to ameliorate their findings.  They left and vowed to return in six months.  The Spa’s triple “A” rating was at stake.  “E” had his work cut out for him.

Ice Patrol

One again the scientists at NOAA had asked Elroy to do the dangerous Blue Nose Ice Patrol.  He would leave the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa and fly North to the very edge of the Polar Cap.  He carried sensitive instruments.  Upon Elroy’s return the Face of Everyman would download the data and report the findings.  The small stipend they earned allowed them to buy a round at the bar when the day’s work was done.

Elevator Operator

Thaddeus felt a calling but just what eluded him.  He’d been a butcher, a baker, a candle stick maker.  He was here at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to interview for a new position as elevator operator.  the Face of Everyman was at a loss to understand such a need.  Most guests checked in with no luggage and could find their own way to their rooms.

 

Auditions

The season opener for baseball was almost at hand.  the Face of Everyman listened closely as each songbird auditioned with a variety of patriotic songs.  This year was very special as it was The Foggy Bottoms Irregulars Vs The Mar-a-lago Gators.  The Miami team were almost professionals.  The venerable sage expected nothing but the best from his singers and ball club.  He warned the singers: no free style or jazz breakout.  He promised that they could each express themselves during the Seventh Inning stretch.  Could they be ready in time?

Winter Sports

The blizzard that was Winter Storm Desdemona had finally stopped.  The snow was so deep that the Cabana Boys couldn’t ride their bikes; instead they skied to work at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa, evoking images of the Winter Olympics.  the Face of Everyman rummaged through his Sea Chest hoping to find his remaining Gold Medal.  Since the early days of the sport the Curling Stone has often been awarded a medal.  The venerable sage had fond memories of those long ago days in Scotland; sliding across the frozen lochs.  Curling had been the sport of the common man.

Confession

the Face of Everyman always felt like an imposter, a fraud if you will; if he took the confession of a small songbird.  The “circuit rider” Preacher was out there somewhere tending to another remote congregation.  He was due next week but Toby felt that he had to get something off his chest.  Everyman agreed to hear the confession.  After all, how sinful could Toby be?  Yikes!  It was a mistake to assume anything.  The venerable sage hear the bird’s confession of sins.  Penitence and atonement could be discussed next week.

Stand Off

Tula’ the Cat came down from the warmth of the manor house situated high above the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to see for herself the gluttony of the Simple Pigeons who lived off the largess provided for songbirds by the kindly ol’ pensioner.  The pigeon was either starved or had no experience with cats.  It became sort of a stand off.  Tula’ would charge the bird who would flutter off a few feet; then feed at a new spot with a certain nonchalance.  Both soon tired of the game. The satiated pigeon flew off to forage elsewhere.  the Face of Everyman slept thru the entire encounter.  Tula returned home and found a Sun spot for a nice nap.