It was in Dorian’s DNA to ride on the backs of the North American Bison; devouring the insects kicked up in the dust as vast herds moved about the great plains. Alack and alas those days were long gone. Dorian liked to come to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to ask the Face of Everyman to retell stories about his ancestors following stampeding beasts and feasting on clouds of insects. Strangely the venerable sage relished recounting those some what gruesome tales. Dorian was reduced to selling Time Shares in order to afford a few grasshoppers and crickets.
Mooning
Our Editors decided that a little light hearted news should inter into the Buzz at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Arnold deliberately paused as he passed by the security camera. Perhaps only the Face of Everyman witnessed the indiscreet gesture.
Deer In The Headlights
Rumors of a visit by honeymooning royalty demanded increased security at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Claymore was caught like a deer in the headlights when both cameras recorded his image. He had merely stopped to ask where would be a good place to stand to view their entrance. the Face of Everyman mumbled something; but the sirens were too loud to hear his response.
Take Out
Ambrose loved left over Pizza. In the alley behind the village franchise ready made pizza kiosk there was always a few swept out crusts. Trouble was that those crusts were so dry that they took most of the day to soften. Any morsel soaking in the waters of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was tantamount to abandonment. Ambrose cast a pleading eye towards the Face of Everyman. Could the venerable sage find it in his heart to hide this bit of crust under his basalt kilt? https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northwestern_Crow/overview
Ambush
They were certain that they were walking into an ambush but the lure of cracked corn and millet seed was overpowering. Fresh tracks in the mud of big cats made them wary. The fact that the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was a UNESCO avian sanctuary never crossed the minds of Tula’, Panther or Boots. All were neighborhood scofflaws and may have done hard time. the Face of Everyman was conducting business on mind-skype and was powerless to aid the naive pigeons if a rumble went down.
Long Island Iced Tea
Three day weekends have been the hardest for Elizabeth. Time weighs heavily on her hands. the Face of Everyman is her sponsor but they know that full recovery is difficult. Her teaching position at the Montietorkie school is being held for her. The lush surroundings of the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa gives her an unwarranted sense of confidence. Surely one Long Island Iced Tea wouldn’t hurt.
Memoir
Barclay wanted to write his memoir. He sought out the Face of Everyman. Should he balance his heroic war stories with remembrances of his bucolic life here at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa? Well”, said the venerable sage, “I’d devote a chapter to each battle and see how that goes.” “Then each love affair”. “Wrap those with chapters of recollections of life here at FBRS, your achievements at the Montetorkie school and in NASCAR sports”. “My guess?” “After three years of hard work; ‘Bob’s your uncle'”.
Barley Water
Breakfast at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa weight loss clinic was a thin gruel of Barley water and something dreadful which compounded Palomar’s feelings of hunger. He stepped outside for a smoke and a brief chat with the Face of Everyman while casting his eyes about for any orts. Expletive. Evening waitstaff had been meticulous.
Boon
Rocky was unaware of a 2nd security camera protecting the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. It wouldn’t have mattered. He sought a boon from the Goddess Of Perpetual Succour recently renamed from the far less august title of Perpetual Hunger. These long Summer days meant that he couldn’t forage till after the ever later sunsets. Perhaps she could do something about making nightfall sooner. In return he would embellish her shrine with a chicken bone. The Goddess was unlikely to grant a favor on such a weak promise.
Skinny Dipping
Martha taught Third Grade at the Montietorkie School. This gave her pool privileges at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. the Face of Everyman failed to warn her about the paparazzi lurking about. The village paper ran the photo with a brief caption. She braved the few snickers that reached her ears.
torkelsbirds 