The newest bird to find sanctuary at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa seemed nice enough, except . . . he kept calling the Face of Everyman, “Bub” and “Old Timer”. Worst yet, his habit of announcing his arrival as he descends through the thick Fall canopy screeching and yelling as though he were Tarzan, of the Apes. There seems no end of noise this creature can create. The venerable sage knew that nap times were going to be “catch as catch can” from this week forward.
DNA
It became fashionable at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to have your DNA analyzed. Now Gaylord wished that he hadn’t. the Face of Everyman could have spared “G” the expense. One glance and the venerable sage could have been as accurate as the laboratory computer. A high percentage was House sparrow, followed by lesser amounts Grosbeaks and Finches. The “kicker” was a trace of Cedar Waxwing. Poor Gaylord, his grandfather took away his trust fund, golf club privileges and wrote him out of the will.
Okolehao
Public drunkenness wasn’t a social problem until the rainy season. Pineapple Clippers brought warm Pacific rains to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. The kindly ol’ pensioner was kept busy disposing of fermenting grains. Those songbirds that cache their food knew where to return to the intoxicating nectar of DYI Okolehao. the Face of Everyman tried to remain detached from this short lived phenomenon.
Haiku
The much anticipated Haiku contest at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was an overwhelming success. Each contestant followed the ancient and revered 5/7/5 syllable pattern. Mullard who had been drinking in the Bar felt that he could do about as well as anyone. And so he began: ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe. the face of Everyman could not get him to stop his recitation. When finished “M” received a standing ovation from the gathering of poetry lovers. The venerable sage shuddered and pretended that nothing untoward had occurred.
Follow Up
the Face of Everyman was flattered when the newspaper editor returned to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa for a follow up story on “E’s” humble beginnings. The editors eyes glazed over when “E” spoke of deep magma chambers, tumultuous eruptions and grinding glacier flows. Sensing that he had lost his audience “E” opened his sea chest and displayed his medals: The Blue Max, Croix de Guerre, the Victoria Cross . . . From that point on the editor recorded every pearl of wisdom the venerable sage uttered.
Veterans Day
Each year someone from The Village Press came to the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to interview the oldest living veteran. This year the editor himself came to ask the tough questions. the Face of Everyman tried to insist that he was really a non-combatant; more of an observer really. The Editor pressed him ever harder; but “E” deflected such questions about being used as a cannon ball by Napoleon’s cannoneers. He would admit, however, to trying to enlist during the Pig War of 1859; but the editor had stopped taking notes. Ultimately the paper ran a small photo with the caption: Four billion year old veteran exhibits signs of memory loss.
401K
Cheeky wasn’t sure that any savings plan was right for him. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa had a bank of questionable repute run by the Concierge from his desk in the lobby. Vague rules and posted signs that read, “Free Checking 20% off” were troubling to a thrifty saver. Seen above is young Cheeky heeding the advice of the Face of Everyman that he “squirrel away” a little bit each day. Those Cabana Huts hold a remarkable amount of nuts.
Maintenance
Today the Blog takes viewers behind the scenes at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Seen above is the Face of Everyman undergoing our famous Euro-scrub. New and exciting posts are expected to resume once the quarterly maintenance procedures have been completed.
Pandora
Pandora removed her Life Alert pager before she entered the water for her hydrotherapy. YIKES! the Face of Everyman summoned the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa First Responders. “P” was checked out and released to her Adult Care Day custodians.
Ice Fishing
Temperatures were dropping rapidly at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Thick ice was expected to form on the pool before sundown. Larchmont was disappointed when he saw that catering crews were setting up for moonlight ice skating and hot chocolate service. This could have been a great opportunity for ice fishing. the Face of Everyman commiserated with his little friend. Of course, it would be nice if Larchmont was able to spear a lake sturgeon and shared the roe. Caviar on toast points remained a childhood comfort food of the venerable sage.
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