An episode of the third season of the popular BBC cooking show was to be taped at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. Two celebrated English chefs: Leslie and Cyril announced that they would prepare an authentic dish from the American South: Brunswick stew. As if a body of one, the onlookers and quests gasped! the Face of Everyman obscured in this clip, quickly informed this naive pair that traditional Brunswick stew was made from squirrel, raccoon or opossum. After a brief huddle, it was decided that Mac & Cheese was today’s authentic dish.
Twins
Whip Saw and Slab Jack were twins. A fact each resented. They fought and argued constantly; causing many guests to feel upset and distressed. Management at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa would have barred them from using the facilities except for the fact that they were regarded as foreigners and Corporate wanted to foster an image of inclusion, etc. the Face of Everyman calculated that after residing here for more than 60 generations these two rascals should have learned some manners; or at least gone their separate ways. And was there really a Starling Anti-defamation League?
Yellow Peril
Leslie was the Advance Man for the famous rock group Yellow Peril. They were on their third final world tour. The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa is where the band first got together. Back then, they were just a rag tag bunch of Cabana Boys trying to make their mark in a field already glutted with wannabes. the Face of Everyman shuddered when he realized the nightly cacophony he would have to endure during their booking.
Frida
Little Frida wanted desperately to start school at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. She had a difficult time understanding the concept that the Montetorkie school was closed for Spring Break. the Face of Everyman suggested that she return in two weeks. However, the venerable sage did offer to tutor young Frida for a small honorarium.
Keynote
The Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa was renown for the unique institutions that held their annual meetings at this posh venue. Seen above is the keynote speaker for this year’s meeting of Lost Celebrities and Unsolved Mysteries. The honorable Judge Francis Force Crater gave a splendid talk on what it means to be lost and forgotten. Of course, he was “preaching to the choir”. Barely seen, his head but a glimpse above the poolside rim, is Jimmy Hoffa. At the “meet & greet” before the banquet there was a plausible rumor that he may have been found and thus would have to forfeit his long held membership.
Harcourt
Harcourt owed everybody money at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. His visits were brief and unscheduled. Seen here on a survillance camera clip, he has his head down and misjudges the fact that he is exposed. Perhaps the Face of Everyman, in a prankish mood, schooched over a bit. Link leads off-site: https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Cedar_Waxwing/id
Snorkel
Daisy was a department store clerk in NYC. Her coworkers were amazed when her Facebook page started to explode in selfies of her on vacation snorkeling in tropical waters. All were envious at first, until someone recognized that distinguished monolith, the Face of Everyman. A quick search of the web confirmed that Daisy was really at the posh Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. The ruse was up, but she still had stories to tell.
Quackery
Quacks and fakers sometimes slipped into the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa to practice their nefarious arts. Seen here on a security camera image are two charlatans attempting to bamboozle the Face of Everyman. Calling themselves skilled and renown phrenologists these two met their match when they picked Everyman as their mark.
When with solemn scientific certainty they assured him that his shapely head revealed him as a creature of mirth; the stoic sage almost burst out laughing.
Clubs
Blacky was on a crusade to recruit new members on behalf of every civic and philanthropic organization near the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. He practiced his persuasive appeal on the Face of Everyman. Blacky offered a litany of names of groups from which the venerable sage might choose: Lions, 4H, AARP, NOW, NRA, ACLU, Optimist, Rotary. Normally stoic, the sage was elated to learn that he would be making so many new friends. He said Yes to all.
Ozwald, Flying Ace
Ozwald told the story over and over again as long as someone else was buying the drinks at the Foggy Bottoms Resort and Spa. “I was returning from a secret night time sortie and as I was about to land I spotted incoming tracers. There, off my starboard wing, was The Blue Max, camouflaged as a Northwestern Crow. Jumping gee-hosa-fat, there was nothing else to do but clear my guns and roll into a classic aerial combat mode. Last I saw, he was trailing smoke.”
The venerable sage remained mute. He had his own “war stories”.
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